Archive for the ‘Television’ Category

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Finale Recap

June 9, 2008

All things must come to an end. If you read my initial post on Miss Rap Supreme and my evaluation of the contestants, then you know I am Nostradamus when it comes to making predictions.

What I said in April:
WHAT… THE…FUCK. That look needs to go. However, I am going to go with Rece as my dark horse and pick her to win the Miss Rap Supreme championship. She has a style that will appeal to Yo Yo and Serch. Based on her Myspace music, she seems to be the best of the contestants at crafting a song.

I was pleased with the outcome of MRS and feel that the best contestant won. Cough, Rece Steele, cough. We all knew that it wasn’t going to be Ms. Cherry.

The show began with the ladies being told they were going to have to battle to determine the final two. Immediately, Ms. Cherry and Byata began to panic, because that is not their style. Ms. Cherry actually asked for any alternative spellings and the language of origin. They brought Dr. Roxanne Shante out, who told the ladies to give up rap and go to school. Nahh, she stated that there are no friends in battling, a lesson which Rece Steele would take to heart.

Ms. Cherry led off the diss challenge rapping in that accent which continues to irk me to no end. Her flow was choppy and disjointed. She didn’t really drop any original punchlines, and faltered when she tried to go at Rece Steele’s mother. Yawn

Byata went second and looked like she was battling her mother. She had a cheesy ass grin on her face and dropped lackluster rhymes. Byata can’t battle. I imagine you gathered that from her hippy attire. She did sound more fluid than Ms. Cherry.

Rece Steele went last and stepped up the mic angry as hell. That mother line musta upset her because she tore Byata and Ms. Cherry down. She even made a reference to Ms. Cherry’s ug mug! Now that is what I am talking about. Her ferocity and intensity was so beyond her competitors it wasn’t even funny.

Serch and Yo-Yo met and decided that Ms. Cherry was the weakest of the three and she was required to give up her sash. Next up, was Will.I.Am, who MC Serch had a billion nice things to say. A legend in hip-hop? To make reference to Serch’s new favorite word- Really? Really, Serch? I thought he was pop, forgive me. Will.I.Am had a seat next to the ladies and I thought Hurricane Katrina’s cousin was going to pop off because that dude was floodin’ like a motherfucker. The exchange between Will and the ladies basically involved him asking them to spit, them spitting, and Will looking dazed and saying “wow” and other unintelligible responses. Fascinating. Rece kicked a straight up rhyme while Byata delivered a more hook focused melodic rhyme, knowing a pop artist would respond better to it.

We didn’t get any footage of the ladies constructing their final 16 and song for the final challenge while it cut straight to the dressing room of the final performance. The ladies had to share the same dressing room! What kinda bs is that? Ego Trip is on some old price cutting tactics crap! It would have been much better if the ladies would have been separate dressing rooms and we could have heard some straight up trash talk, heard some more. All we got was them rehearsing over each other. Oh, and Yo-Yo telling them it was a historical moment for women in hip-hop. Was Shamrock winning the WRS a historic moment for white rappers?

Serch arrived in the building and introduced the judges- Mona Scott and Missy Elliott. What, no Dante Ross? Initially, I believed that Rece Steele was royally screwed. Missy Elliott is not similar to Rece in any way whatsoever and is not a real lyrical type chick. She is a pop artist, like Byata. The ladies were required to begin by spitting a 16, in which I felt Rece stepped her game up a little by showing more stage presence and delivering better lines. Byata continued to do Byata. She isn’t awful, but she doesn’t give you anything you will ever remember or quote.

Byata led off the song performance with a little number about her struggles growing up and breaking into the rap game. She rapped for several minutes about people not wanting to hear her, getting booed off stages, and hated on. Yet, she kept going! Someone just can’t take a hint. Byata is def the last person you want on your crib right before dinner is being served and you need her to bounce. Byata’s hook was ehhh, not mind blowing but her crowd participation was decent. Not that she got much back in return.

Rece stepped up and destroyed it. She didn’t rap like she was scared to look at the crowd, she actually gave a pretty dope performance. She destroyed Byata in the lyrical department, created a song that the crowd enjoyed listening to more, and pleased the judges. Despite some of the judges stating that Rece needed to conquer her fear and anger, they gave her the 100G prize and the title of Miss Rap Supreme. What will Ego Trip do next? Best hip-hop group? Asian Rapper Show? Elderly Rapper Show? I believe I shall tune in.


Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 7 Recap

June 2, 2008

I decided to take the week off and allow Blaine and Antoine from Men On Film review the latest Miss Rap Supreme Episode.

Blaine: Welcome to a special edition of Men On Film. Today we will be reviewing the show Miss Rap Supreme.

Antoine: This whole idea repulses me. Women? Rapping?

B: Exactly. Give me some strong muscular men. DMX..

A: Before the crack..

B: Erick Sermon

A: Oooo, the green eyed bandit! I always heard that..

B: Let’s review the show!

A: We started the show with 4 contestants remaining. We had Byata, Chiba, Ms. Cherry, and Rece Steele. The episode began with Byata crying to her Russian daddy.

B: Her Russian daddy looked strong.

A: Later we see that Chiba is feeling down in the dumps because the ladies of the house have made her an outsider. I know what that feels like.

B: Look at her tattoos.

A: Next, the big but not so muscular MC Serch took the ladies to a gun range to let out some rage.

B: I must say I was very disappointed in this segment. Rather than see the elderly Serch bust off some rounds we get to see some girls miss a target worrying about being out on bond.

A: Blaine, the ladies were taking out low self esteem, misogyny and haters.

B: That little Asian gun man was cute. He looked like the cashier who got killed in that raw movie about male rage, Menace II Society.

A: The little Russian hipster rapper won the gun challenge. Later she bonded with the gangsta rapper WC and Crazy Tunes.

B: When I see WC there is more than West UP!

A: I’ve been following WC since Low Profile. That little Russian girls knows nothing about it.

B: I was scared when Chiba began talking to her 23 year old daughter.

A: Isn’t Chiba 28? That moment when she revealed her eye that wouldn’t close moved me.

B: Next, the ladies had to write a rhyme about peace.

A: And rap to some young girls of LA who were victims of gang violence.

B: The challenge found Byata, Ms. Cherry and Rece Steele choking and forgetting their rhymes.

A: Rece Steele has such a hard name but she looks so soft. Sorta like she would walk in my kitchen and start cookin’ me a big breakfast. Chiba won the challenge and moved the crowd.

B: And didn’t get to enjoy it. Byata and those hateful women tried to accuse Chiba of kicking written rhymes.

A: Rece Steele got so worked up! That is the sort of energy I like to see in my male MC’s. Swinging her 1980 gold earrings around.

B: Honey, get me a pair!

A: Soon, our little Russian princess began crying foul and was ready to quit!

B: That Ms. Cherry stated you don’t have to perform nowadays. Girl, you better work it. I got one word for you, baby!

Blaine& Antoine: Downloads!

B: The elimination room found the ladies in a tight room filled with tension as they wrote 16’s about the word bitch.

A: Hated it!

B: I’m with you. Rece Steele delivered her rhyme like a Korean with autism. I didn’t see her eyes through the whole rhyme.

A: Ms. Cherry impressed the judges but her accent made me wince.

B: Byata stumbled but made grabbed Serch’s attention by aiming her rhyme at Chiba.

A: And Chiba kicked a nonsense rhyme about killing some man who called her a bitch.

B: That’s less for us! Chiba got eliminated for her lackluster rhymes as the rest of the ladies embraced

A&B- Hated it!

Download 20/20Proof Podcast Episode 15

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 6 Recap

May 26, 2008

The 6th episode of Miss Rap Supreme found the ladies drinking, drinking, and drinking some more. Rece Steele couldn’t hold her booze and started vomiting in her bed. Honestly, this is some reality TV I could do without.  As much as I don’t really feel female MC’s, I really don’t feel vomit. Nikki2States hopped right in there like a champ, and explained that she had four kids. Four kids! Rece later shat on herself off camera and Nikki jumped right up with a diaper so she did not get homesick or anything.

After everyone sobered up you had some more Byata and Chiba bickering. This is really starting to get just a tad old. I get it. They don’t like each other. Ughhhh. The ladies were called out to a talent contest, which believe it or not was amusing. Not in that way. Rece danced, Nikki failed to hula hoop (as much as she shakes her ass?), Chiba jumped rope, Ms. Cherry did a busted ass cartwheel, and Byata kick boxed. I would say don’t quit your day job ladies, but part of me wonders if they have one.

After the no talent show, they were split into teams with Nikki and Rece landing on one while Chiba, Byata and Ms. Cherry made up the other. Byata’s looked like someone pissed in her cereal when she realized Chiba was on her team. Great, more bickering. The ladies were given Just Blaze beats and asked to write hit pop/rap crossover records. Serch made a Salt N Pepa and Eve reference. Just a little time in between those songs. Byata made a reference that being a white girl made it easier for her to make a pop song. Huh?

The ladies got into the studios with Just Blaze who was wearing a shirt that said “Tax Write Off”. Those beats constitute his charitable donations for the year. You and I donate to 3rd world countries or Toys for Tots, Just Blaze donates to Miss Rap Supreme. It’s all good, they need it.  The rest of the studio time was spent with Byata and Cherry arguing with the lyric content from Chiba, because they instructions stated that it had to be clean. Serch, have you listened to the radio in the last 5 years? Not even the  pop hits are clean anymore. Every song has a reference to something sexual or violent. This is not the 80’s, guys. Rece’s team struggled with melody as Nikki had a hard time delivering the hook with the amount of time given.

The ladies then took their finished product to the radio and jumped around like crazy in the studio as their songs played. The majority of the comments were positive, despite one listener who declared the track as garbage. Hell, they even said it with different accents. While listening to the tracks, I felt Byata’s team had an edge because the track was more of a club banger. Rece’s song sounded more complete despite the hook not really being on point. After all was said and done, Serch and Yo-Yo picked Byata’s team as the winner. Yo-Yo couldn’t remember the hook for Rece’s song. Funny, because can anyone remember a hook from a Yo-Yo song? Not hatin’, just sayin’.

When elimination time came….. (hold on, Serch’s goatee is distracting as hell! get some Just For Men ASAP)

Ok… the ladies were asked to write about their fathers. Beautiful! Let us give them another opportunity to tell us how their daddies ditched their mothers and left them broke. Men are bastards. Rece delivered her verse with a lot of passion, but she didn’t really make much eye contact. I was worried she was going to have a seizure. Someone also needs to get her on that What Not To Wear show immediately.  Nikki2States pretty much did a spoken word, and didn’t rap her verse. I was wondering when she would start rapping instead of talking like she was giving a lecture. This laid back approach led to her being eliminated. Get home to yo kids, fool!

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 5 Recap

May 19, 2008

Death to Chiba!

This week’s episode began with everyone in the house ready to burn Chiba at the stake. The ladies were still upset about Lady Twist being kicked off the show, and felt that Serch and Yo-Yo made a poor decision. It is called ratings, ladies. Ratings! Chiba fought back by telling the house Byata has been throwing darts around behind their back. Either Chiba is being brutally honest or she is totally insane. I am going to lean towards head case. Wearing those sunglasses 24/7 has probably done something to her brain.

They didn’t waste much time setting up the episode as they were split into teams and told they would have to make a music video. Do people still watch music videos anymore? Do people watch videos from female rappers? Thought so.  The teams were split up with Byata, Rece Steele, and Nikki2States making one team while Bree, Ms Cherry, and Chiba made the other.

Ms. Cherry immediately threw a fit as she recognized that her team sucked cock. Big time, yo. However, instead of really contributing anything she acted like a brat and seemed to slow the group’s process down. Shit, they only had 3 hours to make a song and 3 hours to make a video. Tight schedule. Ego Trip killed it on the captions this week, btw. Nikki’s team had a def advantage as they got first pick on items and grabbed the yacht. This left Ms. Cherry’s team with a lame setup and put them in a bad position.

Byata began to worry and complain to the camera that Nikki wasn’t professional. Oh Byata, what could have possibly given you that impression? Could it be the fact that she is shaking her ass around at any given moment and all her rhymes focus on various parts of her body. Byata’s predictions proved right as Nikki shook her ass all around the yacht and rubbed her crotch against anything that wasn’t bolted down.  The group’s concept was that they were pirates and were robbing the nerdy white boys. Their theme of being corny did not match well with sexy. Came off lookin’ like straight doo doo. The title of their video was called “Boss Chicks”. As if corny visuals were not enough, they had to add a straight garbage title. Ughhhh. The name of their yacht is def not hope.

Ms. Cherry’s team had a video that was crisper visually and focused on Ms. Cherry, which was a decent idea.  Not sure you want Bree to be the focus on your video considering the fact she resembles a 13 year old boy. Their video name, “Paper Chase” was also outdated and lame. I think it would have been cool if Chiba took of her glasses and they sorta added a horror element to it, but no dice. Chiba and Bree robbed Ms. Cherry in the video and left her with nothing. How fitting.

Serch and Yo-Yo ended up going with Nikki2States team because they felt it was more of a group effort. Personally,  I thought they lost.  I know it is like choosing between Spam and leftover bologna, but  damn. Nikki seemed to think the same thing and offered her prize of the Salt N Pepa suite to Ms. Cherry who respectfully declined. Nikki2States walked into a fake setup of paparazzi and fans. Her world will be crushed when she goes home to her 4 kids and crappy diapers.

At the elimination challenge, the ladies had to write rhymes about glamor. Bree wrote about dressing up like a boy when she was growing up and how Boys Don’t Cry is her favorite movie. I keed, I keed. Chiba rapped about stalkers and said something about jerking off, Ms. Cherry said the same shit she said for the previous 4 episodes. If I have to hear her talk about being a beast one more time in that fucking retarded ass accent I think I may bust my eardrums on purpose. Bree finished off with another Lifetime movie rap but stumbled towards the end. Perhaps it has something to do with her flow being choppy as hell. The show ends with Serch explaining he knows Bree loves hip-hop, but that she has no future in it and should stick to boxing. 

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 4 Recap

May 5, 2008

Byata wanted to rip off Chiba’s mask this week

Episode 4 of Miss Rap Supreme was fairly unspectacular. It was mildly entertaining and all, but this season still lacks the characters that made the White Rapper Show really fun to write about. Right now the only drama going on is the Byata/Chiba war. Will this play into the decision made at the end of the episode? Hmmmm. Perhaps these ladies are too intelligent to come off as total clowns like Jus Rhyme or John Brown, but I’m not sure if coming off as mediocre is really a better alternative.

Anyway, on to the show. At this point the lines have been set. Chiba hates Byata. Byata hates Chiba. Rece Steele seems to have a strong dislike for Chiba. Byata even threatened to remove Chiba’s sunglasses and let the world see her funky eye. Not to her face, cause that would have been a bit too mean. Funny, but mean. Somewhere, Slick Rick is rooting for Byata to be eliminated. Lady Twist becomes angered by all this division in the house and tries to play peacemaker. When she failed, she decided to take some vodka to the head. Little attention seeking, methinks. Twist thought she was doing a good deed, but didn’t realize she was stepped into a middle of a race war. Race war=ratings. Don’t fuck up the ratings, Twist.

The ladies are given a drama challenge which John Singleton judged. He actually said a few things, but looked pretty bored for the majority of the performances. The funniest moment came when he asked the ladies if they were literate. This coming from the man who cast Janet Jackson as a lead! Lady Twist and Nikki2States won the challenge by forming complete sentences and picked the teams for the upcoming dance challenge. Nikki went with Rece Steele and Byata, while Twist, Ms Cherry, Bree and Chiba were on a team. Nikki began salivating immediately as she realized she would get to shake her ass in the challenge.

Venture inside Nikki2States’ game room

The teams were given 60 minutes to write a verse, hook and choreograph. What the fuck is this? Top Chef? I must say that the performances exceeded my expectations. Perhaps it is better to give marginally talented people a short amount of time to create, because when you give them all day they let all the shitty ideas mess everything up. Twist’s team came up with the idea of a dance that involved “sweeping the floor.” Not a good idea to come up with a dance that your captain CAN’T EVEN DO! Poor Twist just hopped around the stage and looked quite helpless. Bree did some sort of spasm thing, and I know that she has to be related to G Child in some way. The B Boys in the back looked rather bored during the performance, but Yo-Yo was getting down. Next up was Nikki’s team. They kicked a wack ass hook in the beginning and their choreography was pretty simple. By simple, I mean it involved Nikki shaking her ass all around. Rece brought the best lyrics and delivered the best overall performance. This led to Nikki’s team being declared the winner and Rece winning the Salt N Pepa suite.

In the elimination challenge, the ladies were required to write about drama, including drama that has gone on in the house. Byata could be seen rubbing her hands together and clutching her My Name Is Earl season 1 dvd as she continued to talk about “karma being a bitch.” Cherry kicked a verse that seemed to have nothing about drama in it. Is it just me or does she say the same shit every week? Her accent is also annoying as fuck. Bree kicked some pity raps about growing up fast, her family being involved in a meth ring, the FBI hunting them down, and a Waco like standoff involving her cousins. No, not really but her rhyme was a 2Pac imitation and sounded like a wack nursery rhyme. Twist kicked a rhyme where she tried again to be peacemaker and describe Byata and Chiba’s beef as a misunderstanding (without saying their names). Twist, she called her a white devil. Not really a misunderstanding. Chiba then stepped up and choked JScott Norwood style.

At the deliberations, Serch and Yo-Yo were puzzled by Twist’s verse and didn’t know who it was addressing. How can you be the host of a show and be unaware of what conflicts have been going on? Do they just swing by and tape 5 minute skits and bounce? Serch walked in at the end of Byata and Chiba going at it last week. Nobody filled him in? Gimme a break. Despite Chiba’s poor performance, Twist is told to step off. Don’t really think her attempt to be the United Nations and stop the only dramatic part of Miss Rap Supreme really helped her chances. Had they gotten rid of Chiba, the show would have gone in the toilet big time, so I understand.

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 3 Recap

April 28, 2008

Episode 3 of MRS was easily the most entertaining yet. Appearances by various rappers, race wars, and dreams of the devil. The episode began with Byata stating what was on every viewers’ mind- Lionezz is super wack. Byata may be an average rapper as far as I’m concerned but she sure can spot a weak MC. Shortly after the shit talking we saw Bree attempting to teach Byata how to fight and revealing her boxing past. According to her, they were going to turn her pro and she chose rapping instead. You have chosen…. poorly.

We soon got down to the real deal as the ladies were divided into teams based on a competition in which they had to dress like their favorite male rappers. The early money favorite was Lady Twist, but she did not end up winning. I was most impressed with Byata and Rece Steele’s versions of Kanye West and LL Cool J. Obviously this challenge was in jest, but it really summed up why female MC’s are pretty much awful- they try to hard to be like men. Why does a female have to have male swagger? Too many female MC’s try and write from a male point of view, which comes off as quite silly and pitiful. Nikki2States won the challenge along with Bree as they had to become Andre 3000 and Eazy E. Serch was laughing for about 20 minutes straight and forgot the fact he was just dressed up as a postman.

As soon as the teams were chosen, Byata was hot that she had Lionezz on her team. Can’t say I blame her. Byata’s statements were justified shortly after when Lionezz kicked one of the most ridiculous nonsensical rhymes ever. Lionezz actually rhymed with a straight face- “Got men running after me/ Like I’m walking the dog.” Despite her team’s attempts to explain that she was rapping jibberish and that her English is on the level of Arnold in Terminator, she still declared that it was a “hot line.” If there are no female MC’s in the nation that could outperform Lionezz’ non English speaking ass then women might as well just give up. You have no future in hip-hop. None. Zilch.

After their brainstorming, which turned out to be for naught; Byata started preaching to Rece Steele that Chiba was the devil. Why, you ask? Well, Byata has vivid dreams without the aid of hallucinogenic drugs, which she follows to the letter. In her dream Chiba came to her as the devil, which means she has to be the devil. It was very Chavez of Byata.

Chiba let it be known that she was not going to be labeled as pure evil without a fight. She explained to Byata that due to the fact they kissed she could not possibly be the devil. Her pleas fell on deaf ears, so she declared that due to Byata’s white skin, she was in fact the devil. This was very Da Lench Mob “Buck Tha Devil” of Chiba.

Byata responded with an open mouth as she walked around in circles looking like someone punched her in the gut. All the other white ladies in the room are apparently fans of Brand Nubian and Poor Righteous Teachers because they had no issue with Chiba’s “white devil” declarations. Maybe this is due to the fact all white people are evil is found in the Bible according to Chiba. Serch immediately sprang from nowhere and sat down looking uncomfortable as hell. He wasn’t depicted making one statement about the racial issues in the house, and looked a tad scared to do so. Instead, he had a better idea which can make anyone forget the racial hatred which boils in their hearts- go to Too Short’s mansion.

The ladies rolled up to Too Short’s mansion and learned they would have to respond to a Too Short verse. As Too Short dropped a misogynistic rhyme with colorful phrases about feminine hygiene products, the ladies smiled in admiration. Who doesn’t like to be called a bitch and told they are useless if they can’t sexually perform? That’s right! Nobody! You think this would have been the time for the Ego Trip crew to give a nod to one of their hosts and recognize one of the best he said she said tracks in rap history- Yo Yo & Threat’s “Hoes.” You guys fucking dropped the ball on that one!

Both teams kicked fairly mediocre verses, with Bree’s team having a more complete flow and Nikki2State’s team going for a punchline approach. With a Left Eye arson reference, we knew who was going to win this competition. Nikki had to dig deep in the memory banks for that line. Nikki2States won the Salt N Pepa suite for the night where she found the butler in her room willing to do whatever she asked. She changed my opinion of her just a little when she hit him with a paddle and made him declare that he was black and proud. Just as the ladies were winding down, Serch brought in Ghostface Killah, who looked like he had 345 places he would rather be. His first line of advice was the most appropriate, as he told the ladies to pray… for skills! Just kidding, that last part was me. Ghost gave some standard confidence pep talk and feigned amusement at the ladies awkward flows.

When elimination was upon them, they were told they had to write about women ruling the world. Funny, funny. As Bree’s team goes up for elimination, it is obvious that Byata and Ms. Cherry are not going to be eliminated. This left the two wackest white girls in the house. Bree stumbled and stumbled some more while Lionezz made a poor attempt to rap in English. Serch and Yo Yo stated that they had a difficult decision. Difficult in the way choosing what flavor of Mad Dog 20/20 you are going to drink. No matter what your decision is, you aren’t going to be happy with what you have. Lionezz was asked to step off and walked into the sunset with her German to English translator.

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Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 2 Recap

April 21, 2008

The second episode of Miss Rap Supreme had a lot of filler. The show began with a recap of the previous week’s events and then got into a fun little moment- Khia got booted for using a previously written rhyme in her elimination challenge. Serch got heated and kicked her off after giving a rah rah speech about drama. After Khia stomped out, Lionezz was brought back in. Some wondered why since it was established last week she is ridiculously wack and can barely speak English.

After that they somehow wound up getting into a meaningless pageant competition. Well, not meaningless for Charli Baltimore! How can bringing in washed up female MC’s who only got attention for fucking a famous male rapper boost these ladies’ self esteem? She played Faith in a video and was never heard from again. So we have the pleasure of seeing her sitting on a couch judging the ladies in their track suits. I don’t think she uttered one word. When Lady Twist hears it is a swimsuit competition she threatens to leave immediately. The two winners of the contest are Lionezz and Byata because they pretty much look the best. Chiba pre accident could have given them a run for the money. Word on the street is she is thinking about doing an album with Slick Rick.

Lionezz is happy because the competition is based on looks.

Yo-Yo says that she would actually wear this. Byata, did DJ Premier really work with you?

After the pageant, the ladies were split into two teams with the white girls being chosen last once again. Well, the two white trashy white girls. Team Byata consisted of Chiba, Rece Steele and Bree. Lionezz’ team consisted of Ms. Cherry, Nikki2States, Lady Twist, and D.A.B. When Nikki found out D.A.B. is on her team she makes the gas face. After another call from the mirror and Yo-Yo rocking the Pee Wee Herman look again, the ladies got down to their challenge.

In a brilliant twist, the ladies were taken to a lesbian bar. Now, at first I thought this was just reality shock TV,etc. Then I thought about it… this is their audience! We all know that guys are not buying female MC albums. This may be the future of their career. Ego Trip obviously picked a bar where the crowd was not too butch, and you could spot some attractive ladies in the joint. The ladies’ assignment was to kick some sexy-time Borat raps for the crowed. For some reason I can’t stop thinking about that episode of South Park where they parody 300 and talk about “scissoring.” This IS LESBOS!

Team Byata tried to do some choreography which went awry. I was waiting for G Child to pop out the curtains and do that little weird jig she did from last season. Byata forgot her lyrics but caaught herself without completely falling apart. Poor Serch is really getting old. He began to rap to himself during the performance:

These ladies are better than Jus Rhyme, I think I shall rhyme along

Team Lionezz was a fucking train wreck and a half. This is where Khia was needed. Nikki2States shook her ass around and kicked raunchy raps. Yawn. Ms. Cherry forgot her raps and disappeared. It seemed that some of the audience felt the same way:

Whatever happened to Bahamadia?

It was no contest as team Byata took the crown. After the challenge, Nikki2States started fucking around with a doll. Didn’t Ryan Gosling just make a movie about that shit? I am starting to think this show would be much better if it were half an hour. For the next 10 minutes we hear Vanilla Sky Chiba lecture Byata about her dance steps being fucked up. They go back and forth and finally kiss and make up. Byata seems to have a nice personality, but that won’t make me download your music, let alone buy it.

As they got down to the elimination, Serch and Yo-Yo emerged looking like they were straight out of the 1950’s. Serch was even holding a pipe. Ms. Cherry looked broken as it finally dawned upon her she will be a no-hit wonder. The assignment was given to the ladies: write a rhyme about what you believe is unsexy. Lady Twist began to brainstorm.

Unsexy.. hmmm… Diets! Vegetables! Swimsuits! On me! Dresses! Lo Cal Italian Dressing!

To make a long story short, the ladies all kicked various degrees of wack rhymes. Lady Twist actually came off the best, despite the fact I can’t even remember what she said. Nikki2States was praised for not rhyming about her ass. Lionezz declared that she does not like being called a Nazi or German (isn’t she German) and she will break you down like the Berlin Wall. Ms. Cherry and D.A.B. both stumble and forget their rhymes, which lead to them being placed in the final two. D.A.B. is sent back home where she will probably continue to rhyme about shooting heroin and being white trash.

My career is over…that crack looks wicked good. Maybe I’ll go watch The Departed.