Archive for May, 2008

Thank Goodness For Ashley Dupre

May 27, 2008

Slick Rick ain’t going nowhere. New York Governor David Paterson recently pardoned Rick because he is apparently a wise, wise man.

“Mr. Walters has fully served the sentence imposed upon him for his convictions, had an exemplary disciplinary record while in prison and on parole, and has been living without incident in the community for more than 10 years,” said Paterson.

You’re blind, baby. You’re blind from the facts…not!

Despite the system’s best attempts to kick Rick out of the country and make his life a living hell, they did not come out victorious. All I have to say is thank you Ashley Dupre.

Yes, Ashley Dupre. You know, the prostitute who slept (cuz she got paid) with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.

Thanks to Eliot Spitzer love of whores and his inability to keep it on the DL he resigned from office and was replaced as Governor by Paterson. What a beautiful chain of events! Slick Rick had a snowball’s chance in hell of getting a pardon from the closet (not so much anymore) freak Spitzer. Rick might want to get a drop or two from Dupre and Spitzer on his next album. At least give a shout out on the liner notes.

What is truly wonderful about this situation is that a man who is doing positive things in our country is allowed to stay here. He served his time, his life since his incarceration is the definition of rehabilitation and he has not demonstrated that he is a danger to society. Kudos to Paterson for doing the right thing.


Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 6 Recap

May 26, 2008

The 6th episode of Miss Rap Supreme found the ladies drinking, drinking, and drinking some more. Rece Steele couldn’t hold her booze and started vomiting in her bed. Honestly, this is some reality TV I could do without.  As much as I don’t really feel female MC’s, I really don’t feel vomit. Nikki2States hopped right in there like a champ, and explained that she had four kids. Four kids! Rece later shat on herself off camera and Nikki jumped right up with a diaper so she did not get homesick or anything.

After everyone sobered up you had some more Byata and Chiba bickering. This is really starting to get just a tad old. I get it. They don’t like each other. Ughhhh. The ladies were called out to a talent contest, which believe it or not was amusing. Not in that way. Rece danced, Nikki failed to hula hoop (as much as she shakes her ass?), Chiba jumped rope, Ms. Cherry did a busted ass cartwheel, and Byata kick boxed. I would say don’t quit your day job ladies, but part of me wonders if they have one.

After the no talent show, they were split into teams with Nikki and Rece landing on one while Chiba, Byata and Ms. Cherry made up the other. Byata’s looked like someone pissed in her cereal when she realized Chiba was on her team. Great, more bickering. The ladies were given Just Blaze beats and asked to write hit pop/rap crossover records. Serch made a Salt N Pepa and Eve reference. Just a little time in between those songs. Byata made a reference that being a white girl made it easier for her to make a pop song. Huh?

The ladies got into the studios with Just Blaze who was wearing a shirt that said “Tax Write Off”. Those beats constitute his charitable donations for the year. You and I donate to 3rd world countries or Toys for Tots, Just Blaze donates to Miss Rap Supreme. It’s all good, they need it.  The rest of the studio time was spent with Byata and Cherry arguing with the lyric content from Chiba, because they instructions stated that it had to be clean. Serch, have you listened to the radio in the last 5 years? Not even the  pop hits are clean anymore. Every song has a reference to something sexual or violent. This is not the 80’s, guys. Rece’s team struggled with melody as Nikki had a hard time delivering the hook with the amount of time given.

The ladies then took their finished product to the radio and jumped around like crazy in the studio as their songs played. The majority of the comments were positive, despite one listener who declared the track as garbage. Hell, they even said it with different accents. While listening to the tracks, I felt Byata’s team had an edge because the track was more of a club banger. Rece’s song sounded more complete despite the hook not really being on point. After all was said and done, Serch and Yo-Yo picked Byata’s team as the winner. Yo-Yo couldn’t remember the hook for Rece’s song. Funny, because can anyone remember a hook from a Yo-Yo song? Not hatin’, just sayin’.

When elimination time came….. (hold on, Serch’s goatee is distracting as hell! get some Just For Men ASAP)

Ok… the ladies were asked to write about their fathers. Beautiful! Let us give them another opportunity to tell us how their daddies ditched their mothers and left them broke. Men are bastards. Rece delivered her verse with a lot of passion, but she didn’t really make much eye contact. I was worried she was going to have a seizure. Someone also needs to get her on that What Not To Wear show immediately.  Nikki2States pretty much did a spoken word, and didn’t rap her verse. I was wondering when she would start rapping instead of talking like she was giving a lecture. This laid back approach led to her being eliminated. Get home to yo kids, fool!

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 5 Recap

May 19, 2008

Death to Chiba!

This week’s episode began with everyone in the house ready to burn Chiba at the stake. The ladies were still upset about Lady Twist being kicked off the show, and felt that Serch and Yo-Yo made a poor decision. It is called ratings, ladies. Ratings! Chiba fought back by telling the house Byata has been throwing darts around behind their back. Either Chiba is being brutally honest or she is totally insane. I am going to lean towards head case. Wearing those sunglasses 24/7 has probably done something to her brain.

They didn’t waste much time setting up the episode as they were split into teams and told they would have to make a music video. Do people still watch music videos anymore? Do people watch videos from female rappers? Thought so.  The teams were split up with Byata, Rece Steele, and Nikki2States making one team while Bree, Ms Cherry, and Chiba made the other.

Ms. Cherry immediately threw a fit as she recognized that her team sucked cock. Big time, yo. However, instead of really contributing anything she acted like a brat and seemed to slow the group’s process down. Shit, they only had 3 hours to make a song and 3 hours to make a video. Tight schedule. Ego Trip killed it on the captions this week, btw. Nikki’s team had a def advantage as they got first pick on items and grabbed the yacht. This left Ms. Cherry’s team with a lame setup and put them in a bad position.

Byata began to worry and complain to the camera that Nikki wasn’t professional. Oh Byata, what could have possibly given you that impression? Could it be the fact that she is shaking her ass around at any given moment and all her rhymes focus on various parts of her body. Byata’s predictions proved right as Nikki shook her ass all around the yacht and rubbed her crotch against anything that wasn’t bolted down.  The group’s concept was that they were pirates and were robbing the nerdy white boys. Their theme of being corny did not match well with sexy. Came off lookin’ like straight doo doo. The title of their video was called “Boss Chicks”. As if corny visuals were not enough, they had to add a straight garbage title. Ughhhh. The name of their yacht is def not hope.

Ms. Cherry’s team had a video that was crisper visually and focused on Ms. Cherry, which was a decent idea.  Not sure you want Bree to be the focus on your video considering the fact she resembles a 13 year old boy. Their video name, “Paper Chase” was also outdated and lame. I think it would have been cool if Chiba took of her glasses and they sorta added a horror element to it, but no dice. Chiba and Bree robbed Ms. Cherry in the video and left her with nothing. How fitting.

Serch and Yo-Yo ended up going with Nikki2States team because they felt it was more of a group effort. Personally,  I thought they lost.  I know it is like choosing between Spam and leftover bologna, but  damn. Nikki seemed to think the same thing and offered her prize of the Salt N Pepa suite to Ms. Cherry who respectfully declined. Nikki2States walked into a fake setup of paparazzi and fans. Her world will be crushed when she goes home to her 4 kids and crappy diapers.

At the elimination challenge, the ladies had to write rhymes about glamor. Bree wrote about dressing up like a boy when she was growing up and how Boys Don’t Cry is her favorite movie. I keed, I keed. Chiba rapped about stalkers and said something about jerking off, Ms. Cherry said the same shit she said for the previous 4 episodes. If I have to hear her talk about being a beast one more time in that fucking retarded ass accent I think I may bust my eardrums on purpose. Bree finished off with another Lifetime movie rap but stumbled towards the end. Perhaps it has something to do with her flow being choppy as hell. The show ends with Serch explaining he knows Bree loves hip-hop, but that she has no future in it and should stick to boxing. 

Nas Lets Us Know Who Is In Control

May 19, 2008

Nas told that he has changed the name of his album. Yes, the album previously known to white people as “the album with the ummm you know ummmm you know ummm the one Nas wanted to be umm controversial”. There is a reason dude did not respond to NYOIL. I could really care less about the album title changing or the album, for that matter. Title or no title, I don’t think any Premo or PR beats will be on it.

I do find the deletion of the title (not really a change, is it?) as a clear sign that Nas has no spine. How can you say you are an artist and let someone else dictate your intent or your message? You don’t. Unless of course you are someone who is more focused on the dead presidents lining your pockets than your vision. Telling those in power to fuck off should be easier when you have a bit of financial security. This isn’t someone who is worried about getting their foot in the door. This is an MC who created what many consider to be the greatest album of the genre and he’s still taking orders from another man. Ain’t that a damn shame.

“It’s important to me that this album gets to the fans,” Nas told in a statement. “It’s been a long time coming. I want my fans to know that creatively and lyrically, they can expect the same content and the same messages. It’s that important. The streets have been waiting for this for a long time. The people will always know what the real title of this album is and what to call it.”

Why not just call the album what Nas’ actions are- cowardly.

8 Years In Prison<Crucifixion

May 15, 2008

Poor Remy Ma got sentenced to 8 years a couple days ago. Then she got teary eyed about it. She stated that she was  “surrounded by poverty and drugs and violence and failure.” Cry me a river, yo.  Even if the victim was out for money, the bullet  “pierced Barnes-Joseph’s colon and hit her rectum.” That shit sounds like a fuckin’ Kool Keith rhyme! Shoot bullets at your rectum. Anyone who takes a bullet in the gut which travels to their rectum deserves at least a couple dollars thrown their way.

BTW, did anyone throw the judge a copy of the Shesus Khrist mixtape? Tip for rappers: don’t compare your suffering to Christ’s if you ain’t willing to do a measly 8 years. Man up, yo. If only the judge had seen the mixtape cover: Remy, these 8 years will be a walk in the park compared to a crucifixion.

Remy had earlier told Kay Slay that there was a “”whole conspiracy against rappers right now.” Funny, because I only can think of one rapper who shot their friend and got sentenced to 8 years. Someone should have told Remy about the Prodigy handgun strategy: carry your gun, talk about your gun, but never fire your gun. Saved him 5 years.

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 4 Recap

May 5, 2008

Byata wanted to rip off Chiba’s mask this week

Episode 4 of Miss Rap Supreme was fairly unspectacular. It was mildly entertaining and all, but this season still lacks the characters that made the White Rapper Show really fun to write about. Right now the only drama going on is the Byata/Chiba war. Will this play into the decision made at the end of the episode? Hmmmm. Perhaps these ladies are too intelligent to come off as total clowns like Jus Rhyme or John Brown, but I’m not sure if coming off as mediocre is really a better alternative.

Anyway, on to the show. At this point the lines have been set. Chiba hates Byata. Byata hates Chiba. Rece Steele seems to have a strong dislike for Chiba. Byata even threatened to remove Chiba’s sunglasses and let the world see her funky eye. Not to her face, cause that would have been a bit too mean. Funny, but mean. Somewhere, Slick Rick is rooting for Byata to be eliminated. Lady Twist becomes angered by all this division in the house and tries to play peacemaker. When she failed, she decided to take some vodka to the head. Little attention seeking, methinks. Twist thought she was doing a good deed, but didn’t realize she was stepped into a middle of a race war. Race war=ratings. Don’t fuck up the ratings, Twist.

The ladies are given a drama challenge which John Singleton judged. He actually said a few things, but looked pretty bored for the majority of the performances. The funniest moment came when he asked the ladies if they were literate. This coming from the man who cast Janet Jackson as a lead! Lady Twist and Nikki2States won the challenge by forming complete sentences and picked the teams for the upcoming dance challenge. Nikki went with Rece Steele and Byata, while Twist, Ms Cherry, Bree and Chiba were on a team. Nikki began salivating immediately as she realized she would get to shake her ass in the challenge.

Venture inside Nikki2States’ game room

The teams were given 60 minutes to write a verse, hook and choreograph. What the fuck is this? Top Chef? I must say that the performances exceeded my expectations. Perhaps it is better to give marginally talented people a short amount of time to create, because when you give them all day they let all the shitty ideas mess everything up. Twist’s team came up with the idea of a dance that involved “sweeping the floor.” Not a good idea to come up with a dance that your captain CAN’T EVEN DO! Poor Twist just hopped around the stage and looked quite helpless. Bree did some sort of spasm thing, and I know that she has to be related to G Child in some way. The B Boys in the back looked rather bored during the performance, but Yo-Yo was getting down. Next up was Nikki’s team. They kicked a wack ass hook in the beginning and their choreography was pretty simple. By simple, I mean it involved Nikki shaking her ass all around. Rece brought the best lyrics and delivered the best overall performance. This led to Nikki’s team being declared the winner and Rece winning the Salt N Pepa suite.

In the elimination challenge, the ladies were required to write about drama, including drama that has gone on in the house. Byata could be seen rubbing her hands together and clutching her My Name Is Earl season 1 dvd as she continued to talk about “karma being a bitch.” Cherry kicked a verse that seemed to have nothing about drama in it. Is it just me or does she say the same shit every week? Her accent is also annoying as fuck. Bree kicked some pity raps about growing up fast, her family being involved in a meth ring, the FBI hunting them down, and a Waco like standoff involving her cousins. No, not really but her rhyme was a 2Pac imitation and sounded like a wack nursery rhyme. Twist kicked a rhyme where she tried again to be peacemaker and describe Byata and Chiba’s beef as a misunderstanding (without saying their names). Twist, she called her a white devil. Not really a misunderstanding. Chiba then stepped up and choked JScott Norwood style.

At the deliberations, Serch and Yo-Yo were puzzled by Twist’s verse and didn’t know who it was addressing. How can you be the host of a show and be unaware of what conflicts have been going on? Do they just swing by and tape 5 minute skits and bounce? Serch walked in at the end of Byata and Chiba going at it last week. Nobody filled him in? Gimme a break. Despite Chiba’s poor performance, Twist is told to step off. Don’t really think her attempt to be the United Nations and stop the only dramatic part of Miss Rap Supreme really helped her chances. Had they gotten rid of Chiba, the show would have gone in the toilet big time, so I understand.