Episode 3 of MRS was easily the most entertaining yet. Appearances by various rappers, race wars, and dreams of the devil. The episode began with Byata stating what was on every viewers’ mind- Lionezz is super wack. Byata may be an average rapper as far as I’m concerned but she sure can spot a weak MC. Shortly after the shit talking we saw Bree attempting to teach Byata how to fight and revealing her boxing past. According to her, they were going to turn her pro and she chose rapping instead. You have chosen…. poorly.
We soon got down to the real deal as the ladies were divided into teams based on a competition in which they had to dress like their favorite male rappers. The early money favorite was Lady Twist, but she did not end up winning. I was most impressed with Byata and Rece Steele’s versions of Kanye West and LL Cool J. Obviously this challenge was in jest, but it really summed up why female MC’s are pretty much awful- they try to hard to be like men. Why does a female have to have male swagger? Too many female MC’s try and write from a male point of view, which comes off as quite silly and pitiful. Nikki2States won the challenge along with Bree as they had to become Andre 3000 and Eazy E. Serch was laughing for about 20 minutes straight and forgot the fact he was just dressed up as a postman.
As soon as the teams were chosen, Byata was hot that she had Lionezz on her team. Can’t say I blame her. Byata’s statements were justified shortly after when Lionezz kicked one of the most ridiculous nonsensical rhymes ever. Lionezz actually rhymed with a straight face- “Got men running after me/ Like I’m walking the dog.” Despite her team’s attempts to explain that she was rapping jibberish and that her English is on the level of Arnold in Terminator, she still declared that it was a “hot line.” If there are no female MC’s in the nation that could outperform Lionezz’ non English speaking ass then women might as well just give up. You have no future in hip-hop. None. Zilch.
After their brainstorming, which turned out to be for naught; Byata started preaching to Rece Steele that Chiba was the devil. Why, you ask? Well, Byata has vivid dreams without the aid of hallucinogenic drugs, which she follows to the letter. In her dream Chiba came to her as the devil, which means she has to be the devil. It was very Chavez of Byata.
Chiba let it be known that she was not going to be labeled as pure evil without a fight. She explained to Byata that due to the fact they kissed she could not possibly be the devil. Her pleas fell on deaf ears, so she declared that due to Byata’s white skin, she was in fact the devil. This was very Da Lench Mob “Buck Tha Devil” of Chiba.
Byata responded with an open mouth as she walked around in circles looking like someone punched her in the gut. All the other white ladies in the room are apparently fans of Brand Nubian and Poor Righteous Teachers because they had no issue with Chiba’s “white devil” declarations. Maybe this is due to the fact all white people are evil is found in the Bible according to Chiba. Serch immediately sprang from nowhere and sat down looking uncomfortable as hell. He wasn’t depicted making one statement about the racial issues in the house, and looked a tad scared to do so. Instead, he had a better idea which can make anyone forget the racial hatred which boils in their hearts- go to Too Short’s mansion.
The ladies rolled up to Too Short’s mansion and learned they would have to respond to a Too Short verse. As Too Short dropped a misogynistic rhyme with colorful phrases about feminine hygiene products, the ladies smiled in admiration. Who doesn’t like to be called a bitch and told they are useless if they can’t sexually perform? That’s right! Nobody! You think this would have been the time for the Ego Trip crew to give a nod to one of their hosts and recognize one of the best he said she said tracks in rap history- Yo Yo & Threat’s “Hoes.” You guys fucking dropped the ball on that one!
Both teams kicked fairly mediocre verses, with Bree’s team having a more complete flow and Nikki2State’s team going for a punchline approach. With a Left Eye arson reference, we knew who was going to win this competition. Nikki had to dig deep in the memory banks for that line. Nikki2States won the Salt N Pepa suite for the night where she found the butler in her room willing to do whatever she asked. She changed my opinion of her just a little when she hit him with a paddle and made him declare that he was black and proud. Just as the ladies were winding down, Serch brought in Ghostface Killah, who looked like he had 345 places he would rather be. His first line of advice was the most appropriate, as he told the ladies to pray… for skills! Just kidding, that last part was me. Ghost gave some standard confidence pep talk and feigned amusement at the ladies awkward flows.
When elimination was upon them, they were told they had to write about women ruling the world. Funny, funny. As Bree’s team goes up for elimination, it is obvious that Byata and Ms. Cherry are not going to be eliminated. This left the two wackest white girls in the house. Bree stumbled and stumbled some more while Lionezz made a poor attempt to rap in English. Serch and Yo Yo stated that they had a difficult decision. Difficult in the way choosing what flavor of Mad Dog 20/20 you are going to drink. No matter what your decision is, you aren’t going to be happy with what you have. Lionezz was asked to step off and walked into the sunset with her German to English translator.