Archive for April, 2008

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 3 Recap

April 28, 2008

Episode 3 of MRS was easily the most entertaining yet. Appearances by various rappers, race wars, and dreams of the devil. The episode began with Byata stating what was on every viewers’ mind- Lionezz is super wack. Byata may be an average rapper as far as I’m concerned but she sure can spot a weak MC. Shortly after the shit talking we saw Bree attempting to teach Byata how to fight and revealing her boxing past. According to her, they were going to turn her pro and she chose rapping instead. You have chosen…. poorly.

We soon got down to the real deal as the ladies were divided into teams based on a competition in which they had to dress like their favorite male rappers. The early money favorite was Lady Twist, but she did not end up winning. I was most impressed with Byata and Rece Steele’s versions of Kanye West and LL Cool J. Obviously this challenge was in jest, but it really summed up why female MC’s are pretty much awful- they try to hard to be like men. Why does a female have to have male swagger? Too many female MC’s try and write from a male point of view, which comes off as quite silly and pitiful. Nikki2States won the challenge along with Bree as they had to become Andre 3000 and Eazy E. Serch was laughing for about 20 minutes straight and forgot the fact he was just dressed up as a postman.

As soon as the teams were chosen, Byata was hot that she had Lionezz on her team. Can’t say I blame her. Byata’s statements were justified shortly after when Lionezz kicked one of the most ridiculous nonsensical rhymes ever. Lionezz actually rhymed with a straight face- “Got men running after me/ Like I’m walking the dog.” Despite her team’s attempts to explain that she was rapping jibberish and that her English is on the level of Arnold in Terminator, she still declared that it was a “hot line.” If there are no female MC’s in the nation that could outperform Lionezz’ non English speaking ass then women might as well just give up. You have no future in hip-hop. None. Zilch.

After their brainstorming, which turned out to be for naught; Byata started preaching to Rece Steele that Chiba was the devil. Why, you ask? Well, Byata has vivid dreams without the aid of hallucinogenic drugs, which she follows to the letter. In her dream Chiba came to her as the devil, which means she has to be the devil. It was very Chavez of Byata.



Chiba let it be known that she was not going to be labeled as pure evil without a fight. She explained to Byata that due to the fact they kissed she could not possibly be the devil. Her pleas fell on deaf ears, so she declared that due to Byata’s white skin, she was in fact the devil. This was very Da Lench Mob “Buck Tha Devil” of Chiba.



Byata responded with an open mouth as she walked around in circles looking like someone punched her in the gut. All the other white ladies in the room are apparently fans of Brand Nubian and Poor Righteous Teachers because they had no issue with Chiba’s “white devil” declarations. Maybe this is due to the fact all white people are evil is found in the Bible according to Chiba. Serch immediately sprang from nowhere and sat down looking uncomfortable as hell. He wasn’t depicted making one statement about the racial issues in the house, and looked a tad scared to do so. Instead, he had a better idea which can make anyone forget the racial hatred which boils in their hearts- go to Too Short’s mansion.

The ladies rolled up to Too Short’s mansion and learned they would have to respond to a Too Short verse. As Too Short dropped a misogynistic rhyme with colorful phrases about feminine hygiene products, the ladies smiled in admiration. Who doesn’t like to be called a bitch and told they are useless if they can’t sexually perform? That’s right! Nobody! You think this would have been the time for the Ego Trip crew to give a nod to one of their hosts and recognize one of the best he said she said tracks in rap history- Yo Yo & Threat’s “Hoes.” You guys fucking dropped the ball on that one!


Both teams kicked fairly mediocre verses, with Bree’s team having a more complete flow and Nikki2State’s team going for a punchline approach. With a Left Eye arson reference, we knew who was going to win this competition. Nikki had to dig deep in the memory banks for that line. Nikki2States won the Salt N Pepa suite for the night where she found the butler in her room willing to do whatever she asked. She changed my opinion of her just a little when she hit him with a paddle and made him declare that he was black and proud. Just as the ladies were winding down, Serch brought in Ghostface Killah, who looked like he had 345 places he would rather be. His first line of advice was the most appropriate, as he told the ladies to pray… for skills! Just kidding, that last part was me. Ghost gave some standard confidence pep talk and feigned amusement at the ladies awkward flows.

When elimination was upon them, they were told they had to write about women ruling the world. Funny, funny. As Bree’s team goes up for elimination, it is obvious that Byata and Ms. Cherry are not going to be eliminated. This left the two wackest white girls in the house. Bree stumbled and stumbled some more while Lionezz made a poor attempt to rap in English. Serch and Yo Yo stated that they had a difficult decision. Difficult in the way choosing what flavor of Mad Dog 20/20 you are going to drink. No matter what your decision is, you aren’t going to be happy with what you have. Lionezz was asked to step off and walked into the sunset with her German to English translator.

Download the latest 20/20Proof Podcast:

Advertisements

20/20Proof Podcast Episode 14

April 23, 2008

For the 14th episode we bs about a bunch of new tracks.  This episode is brought to you Floyd Mayweather  Sr.

J Live Ft Oddisee and Pos-The Upgrade
AZ-Life On The Line
Fat Joe-That White
C.R.A.C. Knuckles- Respect
Sadat X-Okie Doke
Atmosphere-Wild Horses
Prodigy-Veterans Memorial Part 2
Devin The Dude-Getting High
D.O.C.-The Grand Finale

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 2 Recap

April 21, 2008

The second episode of Miss Rap Supreme had a lot of filler. The show began with a recap of the previous week’s events and then got into a fun little moment- Khia got booted for using a previously written rhyme in her elimination challenge. Serch got heated and kicked her off after giving a rah rah speech about drama. After Khia stomped out, Lionezz was brought back in. Some wondered why since it was established last week she is ridiculously wack and can barely speak English.

After that they somehow wound up getting into a meaningless pageant competition. Well, not meaningless for Charli Baltimore! How can bringing in washed up female MC’s who only got attention for fucking a famous male rapper boost these ladies’ self esteem? She played Faith in a video and was never heard from again. So we have the pleasure of seeing her sitting on a couch judging the ladies in their track suits. I don’t think she uttered one word. When Lady Twist hears it is a swimsuit competition she threatens to leave immediately. The two winners of the contest are Lionezz and Byata because they pretty much look the best. Chiba pre accident could have given them a run for the money. Word on the street is she is thinking about doing an album with Slick Rick.


Lionezz is happy because the competition is based on looks.


Yo-Yo says that she would actually wear this. Byata, did DJ Premier really work with you?

After the pageant, the ladies were split into two teams with the white girls being chosen last once again. Well, the two white trashy white girls. Team Byata consisted of Chiba, Rece Steele and Bree. Lionezz’ team consisted of Ms. Cherry, Nikki2States, Lady Twist, and D.A.B. When Nikki found out D.A.B. is on her team she makes the gas face. After another call from the mirror and Yo-Yo rocking the Pee Wee Herman look again, the ladies got down to their challenge.

In a brilliant twist, the ladies were taken to a lesbian bar. Now, at first I thought this was just reality shock TV,etc. Then I thought about it… this is their audience! We all know that guys are not buying female MC albums. This may be the future of their career. Ego Trip obviously picked a bar where the crowd was not too butch, and you could spot some attractive ladies in the joint. The ladies’ assignment was to kick some sexy-time Borat raps for the crowed. For some reason I can’t stop thinking about that episode of South Park where they parody 300 and talk about “scissoring.” This IS LESBOS!

Team Byata tried to do some choreography which went awry. I was waiting for G Child to pop out the curtains and do that little weird jig she did from last season. Byata forgot her lyrics but caaught herself without completely falling apart. Poor Serch is really getting old. He began to rap to himself during the performance:


These ladies are better than Jus Rhyme, I think I shall rhyme along

Team Lionezz was a fucking train wreck and a half. This is where Khia was needed. Nikki2States shook her ass around and kicked raunchy raps. Yawn. Ms. Cherry forgot her raps and disappeared. It seemed that some of the audience felt the same way:


Whatever happened to Bahamadia?

It was no contest as team Byata took the crown. After the challenge, Nikki2States started fucking around with a doll. Didn’t Ryan Gosling just make a movie about that shit? I am starting to think this show would be much better if it were half an hour. For the next 10 minutes we hear Vanilla Sky Chiba lecture Byata about her dance steps being fucked up. They go back and forth and finally kiss and make up. Byata seems to have a nice personality, but that won’t make me download your music, let alone buy it.

As they got down to the elimination, Serch and Yo-Yo emerged looking like they were straight out of the 1950’s. Serch was even holding a pipe. Ms. Cherry looked broken as it finally dawned upon her she will be a no-hit wonder. The assignment was given to the ladies: write a rhyme about what you believe is unsexy. Lady Twist began to brainstorm.


Unsexy.. hmmm… Diets! Vegetables! Swimsuits! On me! Dresses! Lo Cal Italian Dressing!

To make a long story short, the ladies all kicked various degrees of wack rhymes. Lady Twist actually came off the best, despite the fact I can’t even remember what she said. Nikki2States was praised for not rhyming about her ass. Lionezz declared that she does not like being called a Nazi or German (isn’t she German) and she will break you down like the Berlin Wall. Ms. Cherry and D.A.B. both stumble and forget their rhymes, which lead to them being placed in the final two. D.A.B. is sent back home where she will probably continue to rhyme about shooting heroin and being white trash.


My career is over…that crack looks wicked good. Maybe I’ll go watch The Departed.

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episode 1 Recap

April 14, 2008

Are there some dope female rappers out? None that I am really interested in laying down my hard earned cash for. Sure there are a variety of dope tracks here and there from females, but not many dope albums. Last year, Ego Trip showed us the dark underbelly of the white rap community. This year they go for another niche market- the female rapper.

The legendary Bert Sugar once wrote an article entitled, I’d Rather Poke My Eye Out With A Sharp Stick Than Watch Woman’s Boxing. This is my attitude when it comes to female rappers. They are like a circus act for the most part. Going into this season of Miss Rap Supreme, at least I know what to expect. An entertaining reality show. Last year MC Serch forgot the fact that he was on a reality show that accentuated the absurd and began to act like he was on a mission from God to save hip-hop. Hopefully this year he wises up. That blue ass tux makes me think so.

Now on to the first episode…

The first segment was the pageant format. Yo-Yo looked good and everything, but I think she is a downgrade from Prince Paul. In the history of female rappers, she is def a fav, but I have a feeling her feedback is going to be lacking. The first task was to narrow the cast down from 25 to ten. Most of the women opened up with ra ra ra, violent lyrics. A theme that will carry on throughout the episode.

Miss CKC, who is wack, gets dissed for actually showing personality. We learn that Chiba went through a car windshield and is now damaged goods like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky. Instead of wearing that cool mask like Cruise she just combs her hair in front of her eye. Bree is obviously a west coast version of G Child, while Twist displayed some personality. She embraces her chubbiness. Unfortunately, the Fat Boys spiel won’t work in the 21st century. Serch recognized that Byata is Russian. Does this mean she has fetal alcohol syndrome? DAB tells a sob story. Enough with the PSA’s, please. Serch politely asked Khia what it feels like to go from 800k to nothing. He was curious what 800k feels like.

Next up the ladies entered their dwelling which contained various themes. You have the Eve room, the Lil Kim room and the Foxy Brown room, which actually has a bread and water diet. All that was missing is some fake nails and a hearing aid. Cut to the shot of liquor. Ego Trip knows what is up.

Women+alcohol+cameras=reality TV wonders. They are going to fuck and fight! Within 30 seconds the ladies were playing truth and dare. Batya is obviously all about the ladies, and kissed everybody in sight with no hesitation. Khia is going on about having a track record because she has been rapping for 10 years and has one hit. Nikki2States actually has 4 kids! She then goes all crazy on DAB because she was a crack whore. Now, that is life experience!

After the kissing came the conflict. Khia is beefing because she is being called a one hit wonder. For all these violent lyrics, there is not much violence. Just a bunch of pushing and yelling. Ms. Cherry says to check her record. Bitch, you better check Khia’s record. She has been arrested 50 fucking times.

After that they split the groups into two teams with Nikki and Ms Cherry being the captains. The white girls got picked last. Shocker. They were then sent out to rhyme for the ladies in the community. This kind of mission supposedly has a name- a dummy mission! Oh, more silly challenges! Khia’s team goes crazy because they kicked what they believe is the Holy Grail of hooks, but is in fact, simply a wack hook.  They are now… rapping… at… a salon. How can you possibly have any sort of career after rapping at a salon for some middle age women? D.A.B. starts rapping about being a junkie. Please stop with the descriptive heroin rap! I can’t take it anymore.

Team Nicky got sent to a sorority house. Talk about being set up for failure. The German’s idea of a diss is stating that you look like a llama. She disproves Hitler’s master race beliefs simply by opening her mouth. Next they have to rap for some nuns. Byata explained that she can’t help that she sounds black, Khia rapped for her mom and started bawling.

The ballots pointed to Ms. Cherry’s team being the winner of the challenge. I honestly could not tell the fucking difference. The degree of wackness was apparently not as intense. Chiba gets the immunity crown for saying “use your third eye.” Someone has been listening to their LONS record. She gets escorted to the Salt N Pepa room as a reward.

Just after the celebration starts, the fighting begins again. D.A.B. walks out with a smile and the losing team goes bonkers. More pushing until D.A.B. and Nikki decided to battle. Nikki is the first person in the history of rap to use the word menstruation and mispronounce it. Someone said something about their prohibitions being lowered. These women are obviously mildly retarded. She continues to attack D.A.B. for having used crack. D.A.B. is wack and actually dropped a better battle verse. Nikki needs to realize that she already has 4 kids and most likely one will use crack in their lifetime based on her appearance and “life experience.”

The ladies were called into another room and stumbled upon a mirror. The mirror had Yo Yo with a turban on! Why is Yo Yo looking like something out of Pee Wee’s playhouse? Nikki is so perplexed by the talking mirror I was worried steam may come out her ears. The losing team was led into the elimination room and had to kick a 16 bar verse about all women on the face of the earth being one. Something like that. Byata led off with an average verse. Nikki rapped another verse about life experience. Rece outdelivered the others but avoided eye contact. Supposedly 1 in 150 people are autistic. Hmmm. Lionezz can’t rap and forgets her rhymes before she starts talking bout ripping weaves out of people’s heads. Khia drops a nursery rhyme about respect where she chants the same thing over and over.

At the end of the episode Lionezz is kicked off the show. Khia=ratings, yo. This is only going to get better. Fo sho.

Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme- Meet The Contestants

April 14, 2008

Ego Trip is back with another entertaining (??) show full of wack rappers. I never thought I would say it, but I agree with Game. In a recent interview he echoed the statements of many who understood the contestants were straight garbage. Does Ego Trip not know this? Anyway, last year’s White Rapper Show gave guys like John Brown their 15 minutes, which many of us found out was 15 minutes too many.

In advance of the airing of Ego Trip’s Miss Rap Supreme I figured I would swing by the ladies’ Myspace pages and see what they were about. The findings may shock you.

1. Bree/23/Los Angeles, CA

VH1 SAYS: Don’t be fooled by Bree’s small stature, her boundless energy and relentless drive push this 23-year-old former boxer from L.A. to be the best. Determined to make the world see female rappers in a better light, she spits with purpose, spreading a positive message that packs a punch.

20/20PROOF SAYS: Bre has been demanded by 46 people in the New York area according to her Myspace. She has no chance in hell of winning this contest. Her lyrics are very Lifetime TV.

2. Byata/26/Brooklyn,NY

VH1 SAYS:Byata’s not your average white rapper. Born to Russian parents and raised in Coney Island, this tough, magnetic 26-year-old exudes confidence and has the skills to back it up. Coming with flow, lyrics and originality, B has created a unique and respected style that’s all her own.

20/20PROOF SAYS: She is not your average white rapper. She is your average Russian white rapper. She even states that she gets judged based on her skin tone. Cry me a river, yo. On one track I hear Bahamadia and on another I hear Paula Perry. Could win just based on the competition.

3. D.A.B./23/DIGHTON,MA

VH1 SAYS: At 23, D.A.B., aka Down Azz Bitch, has lived a lifetime. A victim of childhood molestation and a former heroin addict, this Dighton, MA native with killer abs has turned her struggles into words and wants to share her experiences with the world.

20/20PROOF SAYS: A white ex-junkie whose only exposure to hip-hop has been her 2Pac tapes. I think I will pass on the addict raps, thank you very much. If she is not eliminated quickly, I will be shocked.

4. CHIBA/28/NEPTUNE, NJ



VH1 SAYS:
Chiba, 28, knows a thing or two about fate, as this Jerzey-born, Atlanta-residing artist nearly lost her life in a car accident. But the accident made her serious about rapping and once recovered from her injuries, she dedicated herself to writing rhymes and performing.

20/20PROOF SAYS: Do we really need another track named “Shake It Girl” or “Crunk Juice” ? Will she be the wild card a la Shamrock? Will she win Miss Rap Supreme and never be heard from again? Guaranteed that Serch will get on her case for being one-dimensional one moment and praising her for her “edginess” the next. Yo-Yo will dig her.

5. KHIA/31/TAMPA,FL

VH1 SAYS: Thug Missses has beefed with Trina and a host of other rappers and now–anger management classes aside–this 31-year-old Tampa native is beefing with everyone in the Fembassy. After selling 800,000 copies of her hit single, “My Neck, My Back,” Khia, wants to show the universe that she’s not just the Queen of the South, she’s Miss Rap Supreme.

20/20PROOF: Can’t wait for another beef track about saggy titties. Based on her past behavior she will be great for reality TV. Why else would they put her on? Isn’t Khia being in this competition kinda like Cuba putting all their professional ballplayers in the Olympics and whipping our ass? Silly question, my fault. No chance in hell of winning.

6. LADY TWIST/22/DOLTON, IL

VH1 SAYS: Love it or shove it, Lady Twist, has a story to tell. The 22-year-old Chicago college student may crack jokes at every turn, but she’s as serious about her lyrics and lightning-speed flow as she is about her journalism career.

20/20PROOF SAYS:
Twist needs to face reality. Her calling in life is to play a character like Snupe on The Wire. Unfortunately, that show is done. She is overweight and looks like a dude. There is no market in hip-hop for ladies that resemble an obese high school boy. Please stay in college and be an X-Ray technician.

7. LIONEZZ/29/ORLANDO, FL



VH1 SAYS:
Lionezz’ hip hop roots go to her childhood, where her father was a DJ at a Munich roller-skating rink and she a dancer in a rap troupe. Despite her German roots, Lionezz, hates beer and cold weather, which might explain why this 29-year-old lives in sunny Orlando, FL.

20/20PROOF SAYS:
Wow, the opposite of Lady Twist. Seems like she will be like the British girl from last season. What was her name? Uhmmmm….. yeah, who cares. Why does she live in Orlando? Stripping, perhaps? If your career has not launched by age 29, it ain’t going anywhere honey. Be like Twist and please go to college. This is not Invincible and you are not Marky Mark.


8. MS. CHERRY/23/ATLANTA, GA

VH1 SAYS: From her swag to her speech, everything about Ms. Cherry screams Atlanta. Confident with a dope flow (not to mention a silky smooth singing voice), this 23-year-old Lady of the South makes everything she does look effortless, including going digitally platinum with her 2005 local hit, It’s Whateva.

20/20PROOF SAYS: With brilliant song titles like “Keep Dat Hoe” and “My Tool” it is obvious that Ms. Cherry is the definition of class. From her lyrics to her dumb song titles, everything about Ms. Cherry screams “ignorant.” Serch, are you in fucking debt?

9. NICKY2STATES/28/HUNTSVILLE, AL


VH1 SAYS:
Nicky2States combines the best of the North and the South. Born and bred on the mean streets of NY, this sexy, tell-it-like-it-is 28-year-old now lives with her children (and silver bullet) in Huntsville, Alabama. Though she’s a top-rate booty shaker with years of “life experience,” she’s relatively new to the rap game.

20/20PROOF SAYS: The great J-Zone once said “you wanna be a singer/ and you got 4 kids/ bitch you crazy.” Why would you go from stripping to rapping? Isn’t that like going from a job at Wall Street to McDonald’s manager? Since when did shaking your ass in a club mean you have life experience? The porn tape is going to hit mediatakeout.com soon, I just know it.

10. RECE STEELE/25/BRONX, NY

VH1 SAYS: Rece Steele reps the BX through and through. The daughter of rap artist L.A. Star, hip hop runs through this 25-year-old’s blood. Behind her hard delivery and crazy flow, Rece shows heart and passion, especially when it comes to talking about her first love…her son. But, don’t get it twisted, Rece suffers no fools and if you’re not real, you’ll quickly discover just how hard Steele can be.

20/20PROOF SAYS: WHAT… THE…FUCK. That look needs to go. However, I am going to go with Rece as my dark horse and pick her to win the Miss Rap Supreme championship. She has a style that will appeal to Yo Yo and Serch. Based on her Myspace music, she seems to be the best of the contestants at crafting a song.