The Feds got your man Chuck Knoblauch on the run pumpin’ Kool G Rap and shootin’ up HGH for no damn good reason. Dude has been retired for a minute. All we know at this moment is Knoblauch ain’t getting served those subpoena papers without a fight.
WASHINGTON — Former major leaguer Chuck Knoblauch had not been tracked down as of early Wednesday evening by federal marshals trying to serve him a subpoena from a House panel investigating steroids in baseball, a committee staffer told The Associated Press.
Knoblauch, a four-time All-Star who played for the Yankees, Twins and Royals from 1991-02, originally was asked to appear Thursday for what was supposed to be the first of five depositions or transcribed interviews scheduled by the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.
Those sessions are in preparation for a hearing Feb. 13, when the witnesses are scheduled to include seven-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens and his former personal trainer, Brian McNamee.
When the committee didn’t hear from Knoblauch or a representative, it issued a subpoena to force the 1991 AL Rookie of the Year to submit to a deposition next Tuesday.
As of 7 p.m. Wednesday, though, that subpoena had not reached the former infielder who, like Clemens and more than 80 other players, was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs in last month’s Mitchell Report on baseball’s steroids era.
Where you at, Chuck? It would be hilarious if all the accused baseball players shut off their computers, turned off their TV’s and hit the road. Then G Rap could get them in the studio to record “On The Run 2k.” The Feds would lose their damn mind! We have people moving massive amounts of cocaine and heroin into the country at this moment, Brad Renfro and Heath Ledger dropping dead, yet one of our government’s main priorities is finding a man who magically lost his ability to throw to first base? Remember “the yips”? If Knoblauch decides to answer any questions about this whole steroids thing he should simply state:
“Steroids didn’t help me throw to fucking first base from 30 feet away! Get off my dick, fool!”