Archive for August, 2007

Too Little, Too Late For Big Pun

August 21, 2007

Before Pun caught the fat virus

Too bad they didn’t figure this shit out a little bit ago. Fuck, I am still waiting for the hovering skateboard from Back To The Future II that my mom still says I thought was real. If they had realized that obesity can be caused by a virus years ago we may still have cats like John Candy, Big Pun, Fat Joe, and Buffy the Human Beat Box with us. Too bad this story got out because now everyone and their mom is going to chow down on a double Whopper with cheese as they tell you it they used to weigh a buck ten before they caught the fat virus. No point in fighting it. Yeah, right.

Supersize that ish

It seems that ethically the researchers could not inject the fat virus into human patients and all that jazz. Whatever. What rappers could they inject? Hmmmmm….

Snoop Dogg (Would have no effect.)
Mos Def (Thank God I did not pay for Tru Magic.)
Common (It would be funny to see a fat Common rapping about dogs and yoga.)
Fat Joe (Perhaps if you gave someone who was already fat the fat virus it would make them skinny. A negative * a negative= a positive, bitch.)
Jay Z (Shit is going just a little too smoothly for him. He needs some fucking adversity in his life.)