Fantastic Four 2- Rise Of The RZA

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Remember back after 9/11 and RZA’s crazy ass was taking colloidal silver? He was trying to say that it would protect ya neck from anthrax attacks and that the real reason rich folks wouldn’t become sick during the days of the plague was because they ate off of silver. Yes, totally ridiculous off the wall shit like that. Forget the fact that rich individuals didn’t have to eat rat shit for dinner, but hey, I ain’t a Shaolin monk.

Little did we know that the RZA pulled a fast one. He knew all along that colloidal silver would not save you from a package of that Arab white. Colloidal silver allegedly has no real health benefits whatsoever and is dangerous because it can turn your ass a grayish color, making you resemble the Silver Surfer a la Stan Jones. Unfortunately, the look does not work for good ol’ Stan.

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The RZA may have tried to drop some crazy ol mumbo jumbo science back in the day but the fact is he was really preparing himself for the role of a lifetime, which he was unable to land due to his lack of dedication towards making himself look like a piece of jewelry wearing jewelry. So when you go to see Fantastic Four 2 (I won’t be) and see the Silver Surfer gazing at Alba’s ass and bringing cosmic ruckus, think about what could have been.

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