Marky Mark’s Gangsta > Ice Cube’s Gangsta

ice-cube_-b-real.jpg
It only shoots paintballs

Ice Cube is at it again. This time he is planning on hosting a reality show on A&E entitled “Good In The Hood.” The premise of the show is to shine some light on the positive things going on in the hood. The show will run for 13 episodes with each episode lasting ten minutes. No, seriously, the show will run for one hour and is going to let us get a glimpse of former criminals who have gone all soft and decided to help out others in the community. Will they commit more crimes? Will they change lives? Pete Rose has his money on no.

Ice Cube’s last show “Black.White” sucked so bad it gave me sharp pains in my groin. I think I made it threw half an episode before I went to take a piss and surf the net. I have more faith in this show, despite the fact that Cube plans on being more involved (scowling in front of the camera). A&E’s logic is that Cube grew up in South Central and made something out of nothing, so he is a good choice to host. Here I thought he grew up the son of UCLA employees in a decent household and planned on designin’ buildings and shit.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Ice Cube and Death Certificate is one of my top 5 fave albums of all time, but why does Cube need to narrate this shit? Give me Bill Kurtis, son! A&E does a fine job creating “Intervention” without Robert Downey Jr. muggin’ in front of the camera so why the need to put Ice Cube in the series? Play your role behind the scenes, Cube. Maybe he can kick some money back to Da Lench Mob? Ice Cube was great at writing fictional material back in the 90’s and we are all aware he never had the balls to burn down a Korean market. I don’t dislike Stephen King just because he never had any encounters with most of the things he writes about, but he also doesn’t put his mug on ghost hunting reality shows.

Hell, if A&E really wants to do a killer reality series and is looking for someone badass who made something of themselves they should get Ice Cube’s “Three Kings” partner Marky Mark to host the show. Mr. “Good Vibrations” used to be a regular Beatrix Kiddo in his teenage Boston days, beating down cats and blinding Asians left and right. You saw how scared Will Ferrell was of him at the Oscars.

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Would make Cube look like Slick Rick

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5 Responses to “Marky Mark’s Gangsta > Ice Cube’s Gangsta”

  1. hugochavez hollaback Says:

    i think the standard line about ice cube being a well-off architecture nerd or whatever has been pretty exagerrated.

    no i can not back this up with facts/sources, just wanted to jump in as captain save-a-cube #1

  2. hugochavez hollaback Says:

    but yeah anybody who can do that “sky magazine” cover at any point in their adult life and have badass cred down the line = king badass

  3. 2020proof Says:

    i don’t think he was a well off nerd, but it is obvious that everything he has ever rapped about has been exaggerated. read that davey d interview with shorty of da lench mob, it is pretty interesting.

  4. Dart_Adams Says:

    Mark Wahlberg was locked up a few times growing up and couldn’t stay his ass out of trouble. He rounded up some of his brown pals from the Dot (Dorchester, MA), called them the Funky Bunch and got a record deal thanks to his brother Donnie (who still thinks he’s the baddest White boy to ever touch a mic from Boston…I take it he’s never heard of Checkmark or Slaine).

    Once his career went to hell in a handbasket after his wack ass 2nd album and the lead single “You Gotta Believe”, he began modeling drawers and acting. Now, Mark Wahlberg (who now claims that he doesn’t listen to hip hop anymore, just rock and gospel because hip hop just reminds him of the kind of guy he he used to be (?)) is a respected, critically acclaimed actor and the creator/producer of “Entourage”. What kills me the most is that he can completely discard ANY connection to his hip hop past, but former emcees turned actors like Dwight “Heavy D” Myers, Romany Malco (College Boyz), Daryl “Chill” Mitchell, and Edward “Grapevine” Fordham NEVER can…then again what’s the main difference between them and him? Hmmm…I wonder. LOL.

    Right there in “Grafitti Rock” you see Vincent Gallo (Buffalo ’66, The Brown Bunny) as Prince Vince the b boy. Look at him now…WTF? One.

  5. 2020proof Says:

    yeah, marky mark wasn’t just a little badass, he was a racist little badass. i remember seeing him on howard stern around the time planet of the apes came out and he was getting nervous that howard kept referring to him as marky mark. stated that some people were trying to make him a star so he had to be referred to as mark wahlberg.

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