Archive for March, 2007

I.B. Bangin’ 4107

March 31, 2007

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Go head over to Pittsburgh Net Radio and check out my hip hop hour.

What Have You Done For Me Lately? Return Of The Mac Album Review

March 25, 2007

Prodigy-Return Of The Mac Album Review
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“They wanna write me off/ but my songs are bangers.”

If I would have heard Prodigy spit that line in the last few years I would have laughed out loud. I gotta hand it to Ballerina P though, he has finally released an effort that will stop my hatin’. Return Of The Macis a certified banger from beginning to end. I have to admire P’s resilience and his ability to return with his most consistent effort since The Infamous despite the fact that little kids are constantly stealing his chain, he has to kiss 50’s pinkie ring every morning,  and receives daily disses from rappers and critics alike. He could have easily folded up after the release of Blood Money, which was widely believed to be the final nail in the Mobb Deep coffin.

Luckily, Alchemist’s production has managed to breathe new life into P, who spits like an animal caught in a violent, drug induced haze over a musical background that makes you want to throw a Pam Grier poster up on your wall. Despite the fact that P attempts to mimic his master’s accent a few too many times throughout Return Of The Mac, his sins are forgivable considering the quality of the overall effort. He does not display the lyrical prowess that was displayed on The Infamous, but the bar was set so high on that album it was a near certainty that it would never be touched again.

Don’t get me wrong, I am glad that there is finally some worthwhile material coming out of the Mobb Deep camp, but was Prodigy’s biggest mistake not getting shot and dying after The Infamous?  His death would have easily guaranteed himself a spot amongst the greatest of all time and he wouldn’t have been dissed by Tupac, dissed by Jay-Z, beaten down by Keith Murray, and turned into a shadow of his former self.  If what he spits on Return Of The Mac is true (hah!) then all he is doing these days is sitting in his room all highed up thinkin’ about how is gonna get back on all those cats that used to tease him back in the day.

Someone Hit Nate Benz…Hard!

March 20, 2007

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It is ok, yo. He hates snitches n’ at, so you won’t have anything to worry about. Peeping a link from Nahright, I noticed that there was some news close to Pittsburgh. Hell, not really. This loser lives in Pine. What is the most frequently asked question in the township of Pine?

Who do I call to have someone pick up a dead deer?
If deer is on a state road, you need to call 1-800-FIX ROAD. Other roads, you need to call Game Commission at 724-238-5639.

Mike Seate’s article in the Tribune Review focuses on the exploitative entrepenuer Nate Benz and his T-Shirt company, U Wear. What is Nate doing, you may ask? Well, Nate hates tattle-tales so he decided to create his own version of the “Stop Snitchin’ ” T-Shirt that has been popping up around the nation and has even disrupted Pittsburgh courtrooms in  the past.

It seems that everyone has jumped on the whole “Stop Snitchin’ ” movement as a way to prove that they are keepin’ it real. Even Sullee of White Rapper Show fame used the “I am not a snitch” line as a way to excuse his own cowardice. What happens when you don’t have the strength to look in the mirror and do what is right? Just bitch out and claim that you are not a snitch. Despite my issues with MC Serch and his involvement with the WRS, I totally agree with his response to Sullee during the show.

Snitching is now being used as a term to define any form of cooperation with law enforcement. Benz actually states in the Trib interview that he believes “police forces are disruptive in many communities” and if a friend keys your car “it is a matter of manning up and settling things like real men.” Too bad that “King Of Da Burbz” Nate holds a degree from Robert Morris, grew up in fucking Pine, and has watched Training Day one too many times. Does Nate’s”Stop Snitchin’ ” logic apply to everyone, or just friends? If I were to key the hell out of his car, would he tell the police or would he attempt to man up and settle shit with me? What happens if he encounters a posse of 300 lb headbusters? Would he suddenly rethink his “Stop Snitchin’ ” philosophy?

The problem is that Nate is simply exploiting other communities’ pain and negative experiences for his own financial gain. I doubt that he has ever witnessed anyone shoot a close friend or relative, seen individuals deal drugs, or prostitute themselves outside his door in the township of Pine. Most likely he has never even come into contact with someone who has gone through these experiences. Sammy Gravano is a snitch. He was involved in criminal activities, got busted, and flipped. He copped a deal and told to save his own hide, which is snitching. When an innocent attempts to better their community and get justice, it is hardly snitching. Hell, why don’t you just tell Sean Bell’s boys to “stop snitchin’ “, man up and settle their differences with the police like men. Why are they runnin’ to the government and shit?

If you see Nate Benz wearing a “Stop Snitchin’ ” T-Shirt and want to test his gangsta, please do. Punch him in the head very, very hard and then key his ATV. You have no consequences to fear.

Pittsburgh Brawlin’

March 19, 2007

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Well, not really. Joey Porter was released by the Pittsburgh Steelers recently, and although reports have him claiming he will be a Steeler forever, his paychecks have the Miami Dolphins logo on them. This is good for Joey because he is guaranteed a shitload of money that he doesn’t really deserve, but is also bad for Joey because the number of rings on his fingers will remain at one. At least we know he will finish with more than Danny Marino. Thanks to his recent antics in Las Vegas Joey Porter could possibly be seen shoutin’ out on a hip-hop track soon a la Mike Tyson on “2nd Round KO.”

Joey punched Bengal’s tackle Levi Jones in the face and left him dripping blood up in the Las Vegas club. Moral of the story- don’t leave your miniature horse around Joey and don’t talk ish to him at the blackjack table. You will get the bizness. It seems that Cinci Bengals are excellent at smoking weed and bangin’ underage girls, but pretty garbage when it comes to the brawlin’.

Penguins are the best brawlers-

Marky Mark’s Gangsta > Ice Cube’s Gangsta

March 14, 2007

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It only shoots paintballs

Ice Cube is at it again. This time he is planning on hosting a reality show on A&E entitled “Good In The Hood.” The premise of the show is to shine some light on the positive things going on in the hood. The show will run for 13 episodes with each episode lasting ten minutes. No, seriously, the show will run for one hour and is going to let us get a glimpse of former criminals who have gone all soft and decided to help out others in the community. Will they commit more crimes? Will they change lives? Pete Rose has his money on no.

Ice Cube’s last show “Black.White” sucked so bad it gave me sharp pains in my groin. I think I made it threw half an episode before I went to take a piss and surf the net. I have more faith in this show, despite the fact that Cube plans on being more involved (scowling in front of the camera). A&E’s logic is that Cube grew up in South Central and made something out of nothing, so he is a good choice to host. Here I thought he grew up the son of UCLA employees in a decent household and planned on designin’ buildings and shit.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Ice Cube and Death Certificate is one of my top 5 fave albums of all time, but why does Cube need to narrate this shit? Give me Bill Kurtis, son! A&E does a fine job creating “Intervention” without Robert Downey Jr. muggin’ in front of the camera so why the need to put Ice Cube in the series? Play your role behind the scenes, Cube. Maybe he can kick some money back to Da Lench Mob? Ice Cube was great at writing fictional material back in the 90’s and we are all aware he never had the balls to burn down a Korean market. I don’t dislike Stephen King just because he never had any encounters with most of the things he writes about, but he also doesn’t put his mug on ghost hunting reality shows.

Hell, if A&E really wants to do a killer reality series and is looking for someone badass who made something of themselves they should get Ice Cube’s “Three Kings” partner Marky Mark to host the show. Mr. “Good Vibrations” used to be a regular Beatrix Kiddo in his teenage Boston days, beating down cats and blinding Asians left and right. You saw how scared Will Ferrell was of him at the Oscars.

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Would make Cube look like Slick Rick

Diddy & Snoop Hug In Helsinki

March 10, 2007

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Someone needs to check the Helsinki water because Snoop and Diddy are now bff. In an attempt to show the Israelis and Palestinians you have to start somewhere, Diddy decided to renounce violence at the beginning of his European tour, which he is going on with Snoop.

“We want to entertain, we want to make music, we want to make people feel good,” said Combs, 37. “We ain’t no gangsters. We are men first, we are fathers.”

What Diddy meant is that he wants to make your girl feel good. If you have an issue with this, he will throw the infamous Diddy left hook, shatter your jaw, and walk away cackling as his bodyguards surround your crippled body tellin you how you got “Stouted.” Who actually decided it was a good idea for these two to collab? Snoop can’t even get on an airplane anymore and reached Helsinki by raft.

This dehydration and lack of proper nutrition during his raft trip left poor Snoop hallucinating. When asked what The Notorious B.I.G. would think about the hip-hop equivalent of the Berlin Wall coming down, Snoop actually believed Biggie was still with us-

“He is going to be smiling when he sees me and Puff (Combs) on the stage today,” said the California rapper.

Poor bastard still hasn’t moved past the first stage of grief.

The article waits till the very end to mention that despite ending the beef with each other, Snoop and Diddy have declared war on every man, woman, and child in North America. Snoop has extended this declaration of war to include Europe and New Zealand, but Diddy decided not to get involved as he realized European audiences are the only people in the world left that are interested in watching him perform. Kids Choice Awards don’t count, yo.

WTF is the Black Youth Project?

March 5, 2007

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Everywhere I turn I am reading about declining rap sales or watching people debate hip-hop’s demise and its negative impact on the black community. Frankly, I am sick of it. The recent Paula Zahn show “Poison or Art?” contained a bunch of ignorant fools who thought it would be a good idea to get together and debate if Nelly’s video tip drill was misogynistic. Did Whitesnake ever get this sort of backlash? Hell, that video with Tawny Kitaen as a hood ornament (before she became a full blown crackhead and beat up poor Chuck Finley) was on for everyone to see, while videos like “Tip Drill” are typically limited to the late, late showings when only the children without daddies can watch them.

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“Posion or Art?” also did some very scientific research, which involved one of their Ivy League whiteys ride around in a cop cruiser as he clamped down on the criminal element. Believe it or not the criminal element had some baggy clothes on! Aha! Rappers and hip-hop listeners wear baggy clothes and jewelry at times, and the criminal they witnessed being arrested also had baggy clothes and jewelry on. It is an undeniable connection. I waited there patiently hoping the guy getting handcuffed would pull a Houdini and kidnap the CNN reporter, but alas, it was not to be. They were so out of date they actually played a clip of NWA to let us know how violent hip-hop can be.

Now CNN has another article asking if rap music has hit the wall.

A recent study by the Black Youth Project showed a majority of youth think rap has too many violent images. In a poll of black Americans by The Associated Press and AOL-Black Voices last year, 50 percent of respondents said hip-hop was a negative force in American society.

Who the hell did they interview? Fifty percent? Did they interview 1,000 Carlton Banks clones? Something tells me their stats are just a tad off. Everyone loves violence, not just black people. Hell, if you are going to heal the racial divide in this country, then you need more “Tip Drills” and more violent imagery. Just throw in some more parenting while you are at it, please. How many young black people do you believe are shunning hip-hop or R&B because they feel it is a negative force in society? My belief is the number is much lower than 50%. The article also cites a Baltimore music critic who wrote about the minstrelization of rap music, a topic which I believe Byron Crawford tackled first.

David Banner also chimed in for the CNN.com article…

“The American public had an opportunity to pick what they wanted from David Banner,” he says. “I wish America would just be honest. America is sick. … America loves violence and sex.”

Hell yes! We love us some sex fo sho! CNN could have interviewed my boss, who one day not too long ago told me one of the kids was rapping obscene lyrics to her when she turned around. As she tried to piece together a few of the words, I realized he was rapping David Banner’s “Play.” I thought it was best to keep the true lyrics from her and spare the young boy’s life. Hell, the little guy was only eight! Instead of CNN searching the streets for people in baggy clothes and bling, they may want to do an investigative story on where the hell these parents are. Bill Cosby can host and the white girl can go along for the ride.