The 7th episode of The White Rapper Show began with John Brown wiping his forehead and mumbling to himself. Big JB was feelin’ safe cause the “fat,crazy, psycho bitch is gone.” Too bad John Brown didn’t say that to her when she was there. Poor John Brown was def a shook one.We cut to Jus Rhyme, who was on the phone with USC apologizing over and over. Jus Rhyme Bitch Moment #2,940. No joke, my grandmother has more heart than Jus Rhyme. As he continued to talk, we learned that Jus lost his fellowship for his PHD at USC. Can you spell A-S-S? Even John Brown tried to tell him in a roundabout way that he is wack and would never have a career in hip hop. Did Jus listen? Hah.
The crew of whiteys then learned they would be heading to white trash central- Detroit. They got put in a trailer that was designed fairly poorly. Ego Trip went half ass when it came to the set design on the trailer. The actual people that inhabited the neighborhood were another thing. Crackheads galore! The crew BBQ’d with some of Detroit’s finest drug addicts. I swear I saw the A&E Intervention camera crew behind the VH1 crew. The Three Amigos visited the old spot where the hip-hop shop resided. They had to freestyle, and Shamrock decided to announce to everyone that he can’t freestyle. Niiiiiice.
White people have definitely been nicer to the white rappers throughout the show. They got to meet ICP, who according to Serch run a multimillion dollar label and have a good handle on the biz side of things, but are corny as fuck and have no respect in the hip-hop world. I am curious to know how much input Serch had on them meeting ICP. To laugh at G-Child for loving Vanilla Ice and yet set up a meeting with some guys in clown makeup is a bit more than suspect. After ICP it was on to Kid Rock, another artist who is in no way relevant when it comes to hip-hop. Kid Rock treated them with more respect than NORE and actually attempted to give them an idea of how his career developed.
You know they had to have an Eminem moment. A little trivia game that involved matching the correct interview quote to Eminem. John Brown came back to win and got a hefty, hefty prize. Money? No. A night with a great MC? No. A copy of MC Serch’s solo album? No. A night in the nicest hotel in Detroit? Yes! The downside is he had to take one of the remaining two rappers with him. Despite Jus lookin’ out and bringing JB along for the NORE dinner, Shamrock was chosen to go to the telly with Brown. Straight Amaechi, yo. The duo entered the room and had a romantic dinner. Is it just me or was there only one bed in that shit? They drank bubbly, dined on food so good that Shamrock proclaimed “even the veggies tasted good,” and made sweet, sweet love.
Jus had bitch moment # 2,941 back in the trailer. He was flashing that crazy googly eyed look as he rhymed to himself. He actually believed he would end John Brown and Shamrock’s career. Can you imagine what will happen when this fucker wakes up, rebukes hip-hop, becomes an indie rock hipster and realizes he jacked up his PHD? That AR-15 shit may be for real. Jus will become the white Colin Ferguson.
Serch let the group know they would be battling at The Shelter in St. Andrews hall. They are fuccccckkkkked. Big time. Shamrock realized this and urinated all over himself and the couch when Serch asked him what was wrong. Serch was kind and allowed them to go after him to train them for the battle. This fucker is like Mr. Miyagi, yo. Everyone disses Serch’s crazy ass goatee except Jus Rhyme who tells Serch he isn’t a nice guy and his mommy grounded him for jaywalking. John Brown compares Serch’s facial hair to a fungus. Jon Brown moment of hilarity #4,392. Serch attempts to school Jus Rhyme on his ridiculous rhyme pattern, but to no avail. Ain’t no savin this fucking nutcase.
The group learned they would be facing the legendary Detroit MC’s that nobody in the rest of the world has heard of- Lo Louis, La Peace, and Bareda. Freestyling is important? Really?
Get ready for Cobrai Kai, bitches!
Detroit had no love for the white rappers. Prob because they were wack. Oh, and they are white. Shamrock did his best but ended up stuttering and going blank. Poor bastard. Next up was Jus Rhyme, whose only punchline was that his opponent was an informant. He made his crazy googly eyes, rambled on and on about how his opponent was Cuuurrtis aka police, and got booed to all hell. It really hurt to watch. Last up was the King Of The Burbz, who actually did ok, despite his line of “sperm in the tummy/yummy.” JB was able to drop some one liners and never really got shook.
When the decision came, Serch eliminated Jus Rhyme despite the fact that the Cobra Kai believed Shamrock was the weakest link because of his lack of heart and memory. Serch did what he wanted to do the previous week and got rid of Jus. Poor Jus should have gotten cut the week before. No PHD, no White Rapper title.
Three Funniest Moments About Episode 7
1. John Brown going at Serch’s fungus chin. Yes, he went there.
2. Jus Rhyme losing his fellowship. What a dumb cracka!
John Brown getting dissed during his battle. John Brown trying to give Jus Rhyme the hint that he will never have a career in rap and to go get his PHD. Words of wisdom from The King of the Burbz