The White Rapper Show Episode 2 Recap

John Brown– Nas recently presented this picture as exhibit A in the recent trial of Hip Hop Is Dead.

MC Serch has created a fucking train wreck, albeit an entertaining one. The end of the first episode of The White Rapper Show found Serch cursing out a young and fragile Dasit who simply wasn’t having it. Dasit replied that Pete Nice was his daddy, not MC Serch. This resulted in Serch looking confused, raising his voice and telling the Eminem clone to step off. Dasit ended up breaking into an impromptu cover of “Rat Bastard” and handing over his sneakers, which were tossed over a power line. This brings us to episode two of the show that Serch “put his integrity on the line” for, which may rank up there with Zebrahead as far as not-so-smart decisions go. Despite the lack of N Word chains being passed around and dildos being waved in king’s faces, episode two contained enough absurdity to entertain me for an hour.

The episode started with the group splitting up into teams of three and playing a trivia game. Short sound clips were played and whiteys had to hit the buzzer and guess the artist. It seems as if VH1 and Ego Trip recognize that they are dealing with a group of whiteys that started listening to rap in 1999 because they picked some songs that only a donkey or John Brown would get wrong. To John Brown’s credit, he was able to get a couple right. I hope editing had something to do with the group’s collective ignorance, because when Run DMC started playing there were clueless stares all around. Suddenly, I was transported to that time I visited my grandfather in the nursing home.

The last round found 100 Proof battling John Brown and Persia. It ended up that 100 Proof knew his Raekwon and Onyx (I think it was just cause they teamed up with BioHazard), John Brown couldn’t differentiate between KRS One and BDP, and Persia didn’t know how many calories were in the Texas Double Whopper she had at BK for brunch. After it wrapped up, Persia explained she was disappointed because she lost to a drunkard from Texas, which led to me leaning off my couch waiting for her to commit seppuku to restore her honor. No dice.

After their special ed history hip hop lesson, the groups split up into teams once again. Their goal this time was to write an old school type routine about respect. Persia and John Brown ended up being stuck together, which was hilarious. Unfortunately, the humor was lost on the two and they didn’t play the whole dildo in your face/respect theme out in their rhymes. Both crews did a little call and response routine, but Misfit dropped a little profanity which upset hip hop legend/prude Grandmaster Caz who is currently training in a monastery. Profanity has no place in rhymes except for the 99% of hip hop that you hear today. After Grandpa’s little lecture Soul II Soul’s “Back To Life” began to play in the background.

Due to Grandmaster Caz’s virgin ears, Misift’s team was eliminated. After the elimination the group was given a clue that they would have to create rhymes that poked fun at themselves. When Shamrock attempted to shed light on the clueless Misfit about the topic of the elimination she replied that she was extremely confident. When Sham pointed out she would have to say negative things about herself she explained to young Paul Wall that she shits doves and that flaws are for people that don’t have accents or shop at Wal Mart. Yikes. Can you guess who gets eliminated? When elimination time comes, Misfit rocks a written rhyme about her being hot and blah, blah, blah. Despite the fact she was supposed to kick self deprecating rhymes she decided to talk about how she is blonde and gives everyone boners. All the men let out a collective sigh as they realized they were now stuck with G Child and Persia to look at.

3 Funniest Things About Episode 2

  1. The preview for episode 3. Lord Jamar takes one look at John Brown and realizes why he hates white people so much. I am now officially looking forward to the next Brand Nubian album. In God We Trust!
  2. G Child’s dance at the end of her team’s routine. What in the fuck was that, anyway? Her lack of confidence is justified.
  3. MC Serch’s goatee. Shit got white in it. Just because it is The White Rapper Show does not mean you have to make everything white. Buy some Just For Men, Serch!

2 Responses to “The White Rapper Show Episode 2 Recap”

  1. Jack Lung Says:

    You forgot the best bit!!! Jus Rhyme trying to crump and looking like a damn fool

  2. Gatsby Blastyn Says:

    What was really funny – was listening to that pseudo-intellectual, lord Jamar blab on like a moron and then rhyme a word with itself. Classic!
    I love hearing lord Jamar talk…. it’s like when a dumb kid discovers a thesaurus and starts to randomly changing adjectives in order to sound smart, but it really doesn’t mesh with the sentence. But he still stands there, proud and confident that he actually has something that resembles knowledge.
    Lord Jamar, you precious fool, you.

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