8 Years In Prison<Crucifixion

Poor Remy Ma got sentenced to 8 years a couple days ago. Then she got teary eyed about it. She stated that she was  “surrounded by poverty and drugs and violence and failure.” Cry me a river, yo.  Even if the victim was out for money, the bullet  “pierced Barnes-Joseph’s colon and hit her rectum.” That shit sounds like a fuckin’ Kool Keith rhyme! Shoot bullets at your rectum. Anyone who takes a bullet in the gut which travels to their rectum deserves at least a couple dollars thrown their way.

BTW, did anyone throw the judge a copy of the Shesus Khrist mixtape? Tip for rappers: don’t compare your suffering to Christ’s if you ain’t willing to do a measly 8 years. Man up, yo. If only the judge had seen the mixtape cover: Remy, these 8 years will be a walk in the park compared to a crucifixion.

Remy had earlier told Kay Slay that there was a “”whole conspiracy against rappers right now.” Funny, because I only can think of one rapper who shot their friend and got sentenced to 8 years. Someone should have told Remy about the Prodigy handgun strategy: carry your gun, talk about your gun, but never fire your gun. Saved him 5 years.