Perfect?

The fucking man (if you can even call him that) endorses Stetson cologne. This is the real reason Brady’s bastard child does not bear his name. That chick from Lord of War showed his ass. So the Pats just went 16-0  after Eli (did he get all the shitty DNA like Danny in Twins?) and the Giants choked hardcore. Now we get to enjoy everyone swinging off Tom Brady and company’s nuts for the next 25 years until another NFL team reaches regular season perfection. Count me out of this fucking slob fest, please.

Nothing would make happier right now than for the Pats to lose in the playoffs. I will also take Brady and Randy Moss coming down with some sort of contagious disease. Not deadly, mind you. Ok, deadly. If that can’t happen then please let Peyton Manning ride his Colts (I realize my Steelers are not up to the task) all over Rodney Harrison’s HGH inflated dome, Teddy Bruschi’s defective heart, and Belichick’s cheating ass. Sorry, but 15 wins after you cheated does not really erase the fact that you cheated. You knew the rules and threw up that spy game shit regardless. Beating opponents by forty or fifty points doesn’t Total Recall my fucking brain.

For all the fucking grief that Barry Bonds gets over his supposed cheating, how the fuck do these guys get away with this shit? Heh, I think you know the answer. Football players can take whatever they want, Belichick can shove a spy camera up Mangini’s ass and nobody bats an eye.

Note: The Pats need to send a fucking case of champagne to the Ravens coaching staff. Remember that timeout they called after the Ravens had stopped them on 4th down? Shit saved the team you love to hate from being 15-1.

20 Thoughts On Lupe Fiasco and The Cool

1. I really wanted to like this album. Unfortunately, you can’t always get what you want.

2. “Hip Hop Saved My Life” is really dope! Now that is what you call character development.

3. The poetry intro is worse than that shit the goth kids on South Park spit. Someone please tell her.

4. “Go Go Gadget Flow” brings back memories of Crucial Conflict. They are currently planning their comeback.

5. I love my HD dvd player but “Hi Definition” is just fucking disgusting. Just because new technology exists does not mean you have to rap about your life being like my favorite TV show broadcast in crisp and clear 1080p glory. Look out for my new track “Lightscribe DVD Burner.” My life is like one, yo.

6. Lupe’s voice doesn’t really do much for me and simply lacks power.

7. “Paris, Tokyo” has Tribe fans creaming their pants. They simply won’t believe that Lupe has never heard Midnight Marauders and have begun to call the track “Exhibit A.” If any other person told you they loved hip-hop and knew nothing of Midnight Marauders you would most likely laugh your ass off or smack them in the mouth. “Paris,Tokyo” is ok, but is far from a get out of jail free card. Put simply, Lupe lacks “it”. Perhaps he realizes this and it’s why he is in the process of planning a retirement.

8. “Intruder Alert” is one corny PSA. What was the thought process when they created the hook? “Ok, you say intruder and I will say alert.” Oh, to think what a group like Outkast could do with this concept.

9. Is it just me or does Lupe’s voice sound better screwed?

10. Listen to The Cool and try and tell me that Lupe doesn’t need to join a group or get a partner in crime who is willing to edit him.

11. RA would say that this is a pop album. I think I would have to agree.

12. “Streets on Fire” and “Little Weapon” are a nice one, two punch.

13. “Dumb it Down” has grown on me.

14. I have seen Lupe live and it was kinda wack. This album will not translate well live.

15. Shouldn’t Chris Martin be on this album?

16. It seems that Lupe could not afford Chris Martin so he got this cat named Matthew Santos. He is just as bad. Why do rappers like the wrong white people?

17. Word is that Mos Def wanted to appear on “Hello/Goodbye” after he heard there would be a guitar on it. Didn’t work out.

18. At first I thought this album was simply too long, but now I don’t even think cutting it in half would save it.

19. If The Cool is a classic album (which some folks seem to have bestowed upon it) , then where are the classic tracks?

20. The Cool is not a Ritz cracker.

20/20Proof Albums Of The Year

10. Pharoahe Monch- Desire

Those who are crowing this as the greatest thing since sliced bread are oblivious to Monch’s true potential. Despite my problems with this record, it does put a lot of other shit to shame. Desire is one of those records you enjoy but resent at the same time.

9. Marco Polo-Port Authority

This album has a lot of bangers. Port Authority transports me back to the good ol’ days when I walked to my after school job in the freezing cold attempting to work the buttons on my walkman through some thick ass gloves. Eventually I just took off the gloves and dealt with the cold. Marco Polo lets us say “did you hear that new shit?” rather than “remember when?” . Tony Soprano would approve.

8. Prince Po-Saga of the Simian Samurai

Prince Po’s newest album is a rarity in hip-hop as it features only one producer, TomC3. The consistency works wonderfully as Prince sounds sharper than ever and delivers the goods. TomC3′s use of Planet of The Apes dialogue in the intro is no coincidence. “Land of Perfect” is cinematic and suspenseful. Only thing missing is Roddy McDowell and Charlton Heston. The best thing about Saga of the Simian Samurai is the lack of fat, as most tracks come in at 3 minutes and under.

7. Little Brother- Getback

I was never really a Little Brother follower in the past, but after this album I may have to change my perspective. Getback leaves the skip button with little purpose. A head nodder that I have been playing on repeat during morning drives.

6. Sean Price-Jesus Price Superstar

Meat and potatoes. Who the fuck doesn’t like meat and potatoes?

5. Prodigy- Return of the Mac

Many will probably forget this album when it comes to their end of the year top 10 lists due to its early 2007 release. When this shit dropped it was easily the dopest album put out in 07. Sure, Prodigy has lost a step or two and only busts his guns within the confines of the shooting range, but Alchemist brings California wildfire type shit for P to spit on. If Prodigy had been able to step his lyric game up on this album it would have easily been the best album of the year.

4. Devin the Dude-Waiting to Inhale

Soulful, funky, and hilarious. If you told me 10 years ago that I would one day enjoy a Devin the Dude album more than something that Pharoahe Monch appeared on, I would have looked at you like you lost your damn mind. One of the most entertaining albums I have heard in years with numerous laughter inducing moments. One of a kind shit.

3. Aesop Rock-None Shall Pass

It took me a little while to truly appreciate Aesop Rock. None Shall Pass is a dense and murky, yet rewarding experience. At times it feels like you swimming underwater and can’t see anything in front of you. Blockhead’s production pushes boundaries and sets the bar just a tad higher for other producers. This shit gets my ears wide open.

2. Ghostface Killah- The Big Doe Rehab

No complaints here. How does Ghost keep doing it again and again? One of the greatest and most unexpected elements of The Big Doe Rehab is the reinvigorated Method Man. Did he drink some sort of special HP potion? Having wrote him off years ago, it is nice to see him steal the show on “Yolanda’s House,” one of the best tracks of the year. Ghost is the Tony Gwynn of hip hop.

1. Blu & Exile-Below The Heavens

Talk about a debut. Blu could have easily named his record Longevity as this is one of those classic gems you cross your fingers and wish for. I don’t think I checked for this album until a couple months after its release because at first I thought it was either an R&B record or that Bubbles from the Wire had started a recording career. Thank goodness I wised up. Exile out-wonders 9th wonder while Blu drops rhymes and ideas that should send past their prime cats like Common back to the drawing board.

The Hiatus

So I took a pretty long hiatus from this site, but in two weeks or so I will be back with regular blogging and a new podcast show for those who are interested. The new and improved podcast will feature myself and fellow 20/20Proof contributor, Brian Seanor, discussing various topics sure to entertain. Stay tuned.