Archive for July, 2007

20/20Proof At The Movies: Rescue Dawn

July 30, 2007

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Christian Bale is one of the few actors (Ed Norton, Daniel Day Lewis) around that I will lay down my hard earned cash for. The man can simply do no wrong. Hell, he brought Batman back from the grave, repped to the fullest in the Prestige, and now gives you his John Rambo performance of a lifetime. I went with my lady today to see his new flick, Rescue Dawn, which is directed by Werner Herzog. Herzog had previously done a documentary on the subject of Rescue Dawn’s protagonist, Dieter Dengler, and decided to revisit the subject in a drama format with Bale portraying Dengler.

The story of Rescue Dawn is quite simple- Dengler is a pilot who gets shot down and crashes over Laos only to become a prisoner of war. What follows after his crash is where shit gets interesting. You have some crazy torture sequences, delusional POW’s, worm eating, and dudes shitting their drawers. Throughout the film you also get Dengler and company attempting to cope with a crazy ass backflipping guard, a midget guard who reminded me of that dude from Swamp Thing and a guard they refer to as Little Hitler.

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No homo, Steve.
No homo, Christian.

Apparently there has been some criticism over events in the film that were changed or left out. Peep this site for the details on that. Obviously, this is a film and not a documentary so I took what was presented with a grain of salt. Based on always means the shit ain’t word for word. The key word is based. Whatever the truth may be, I give this film the 20/20Proof stamp of approval due to overall strong acting performances, dope material, and great pacing.

EPMD=Life Pt. 1

July 22, 2007

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Bernard Hopkins, “the original boxing criminal” gave Winky’s ass the “headbanger” last night. Bernard needs to keep fighting just so he can roll out to the ultimate posse cut.

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That little kid from Home Improvement married a chick twice his age back in the day and got got. Did he not listen to Erick and Parrish drop knowledge in the form of “Gold Digger”? This is what happens when you shelter your children and deny them hip-hop. They don’t learn about the danger of greedy, old bitches and the importance of the prenup.

20/20Proof Podcast Episode 7

July 21, 2007

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For the 7th episode of the 20/20Proof Podcast I put together a collection of hip-hop songs about one of rappers’ favorite things: weed.

Playlist:

Artifacts-Lower Da Boom
KRS One-I Can’t Wake Up
Channel Live-Mad Izm
Nice & Smooth-Blunts
Guru-Medicine
Brand Nubian-Weed Vs Weaves
Nine-Foeva Blunted
Cypress Hill-Stoned Is The Way Of The Walk
Above The Law-Endonesia
GZA-Pass The Bone
Keith Murray-High As Hell
The Alkaholiks-Mary Jane
Devin The Dude-Nothin’ To Roll With
Dr. Dre-The Roach
Madvillian-America’s Most Blunted
BCC-Blackout
The Pharcyde-Pack The Pipe
Meth & Red-How High (Remix)
Redman-How To Roll A Blunt
Marco Polo-Rollin’
The Coup-Last Blunt

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50 Cent Renames M.O.P.

July 17, 2007

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From the recent XXL interview with 50:

Is it true you were offering them a G for every pound they lost?
Yeah, M.O.P., they just ain’t after the same thing. They are a great group. They got music I’d love to put out. I’m just not going to bet on a horse that got three legs in this climate. It won’t win a race.

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3 legged horse? Since when did the rap game turn into the Triple Crown? This ain’t the Belmont, muthafucka. 50 is so off his rocker he actually dared to compare the legendary M.O.P. to fucking Barbaro. What is next? Will he soon compare Mobb Deep to one of Michael Vick’s dead pit bulls? Ok, so that wouldn’t be toooo far of a stretch.

M.O.P. needs to get out of their deal and jump ship ASAP.  Sure they are living the good life rolling with 50 (that BMI gots to be up there), but they essentially being held in music purgatory and are now being disrespected by the main man in charge. If my boss ever compares me to a disabled animal I think I will have to mash out without a posse.

Dear Premo,

Please rescue M.O.P. and  give them lots of dope tracks. Then put their album out.

Thanks!

Reign Of The Tec 2

July 11, 2007

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I want a sequel to “Reign Of The Tec”. it is simply the illest. The Beatnuts chose a great line to create a song around, gave it an even greater impact,  and fucking ripped it. Get Sadat back in the studio and have him drop a fresh and updated 2k line to replace “John Wayne couldn’t even stand the reign of the tec.” Who doesn’t get amped up by that song?
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What would fit best?

Colin Farrell couldn’t even stand the reign of the tec.
Nahhh. The great thing about Sadat’s line is that it attacks an American icon. True rebel shit. Farrell is just a pill poppin’ Irish drunk.

Tom Hanks couldn’t even stand the reign of the tec.
A better line for Tom Hanks would be the classic Tupac rhyme “lookin’ like Larry Holmes, flabby and sick.” Never really tried to come off as a tough guy. Of course the cat who hopped around on a giant keyboard in Big couldn’t stand the reign of the tec. Neither could my grandma, it ain’t that impressive.

Jamie Foxx couldn’t even stand the reign of the tec.
Not an icon. Will forever be tied to Ray Charles. Might as well say “Ray Charles couldn’t even stand the reign of the tec.”

Leonardo Dicaprio couldn’t even stand the reign of the tec.
His name is too damn long to fit in a rhyme. What Scorsese sees in him, I don’t know. Daniel Day Lewis made him his bitch in GONY.

Mark Wahlberg couldn’t even stand the reign of the tec.
You would have to sub Marky Mark instead of Mark Wahlberg. He is recognized as a great supporting character but whenever he tries to take a leading role he falls flat on his face. Shooter? Are you serious? Nowhere near Duke status. Did use to beat helpless Asian dudes down in his youth.

Bruce Willis couldn’t even stand the reign of the tec.
Hmmmm. This could be a possibility. He did do all the Die Hard movies and is a big time action star. Macho and what not. No, wait. I forgot this cat is 63 years old and mad pussy. What kinda man lets some 20 year old bang his ex wife and raise his kids? Bruce doesn’t just stand by and watch, he joins in and encourages it. Kinda like me talking shit on my dad now that has two fake hips and is too old to beat my ass.

Right now I would say Bruce Willis is in the lead. Any suggestions?

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Perhaps?

Just A Friendly Game Of Baseball

July 10, 2007

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As the years go by I realize that for a Pittsburgh resident, baseball and hip-hop have a lot in common. Things have never been the same since that night I was a 13 year old kid with two World Series tickets waiting for the Pirates to defeat the Braves and do what they were unable to do the previous two years. Francisco Cabrera’s clutch hitting and Barry Bond’s futile attempt to throw out the slowest white man alive destroyed my hopes of witnessing a World Series appearance by the Bucs. They have not had a winning season since. The streak will soon extend to 15 years, and has no signs of ending in the near future.

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The losing is bad enough, but what hurts the most is the lack of personality. We are talking about the blandest of the bland. Jason Bay may be able to hit 30 home runs but he is about exciting as watching paint dry the majority of modern hip-hop. Is it just me or has hip-hop also been in a constant rebuilding state for the last ten years? Or am I confusing rebuilding with decay?  I keep hearing the same thing when it comes to the Bucs- “we have some great depth in the minor league system that we feel will establish themselves at the major league level and contribute in a big way.” Then they never pan out. Just like all these cats I hear are the next best MC and the dopest to do it since ________ . It turns out they were just great pretenders.

Back in the day we used to have cats that looked strange, played well and had mad personality.

Exhibit A: Zane Smith (before the Pirates days- later on he learned to keep his mouth closed during pic time)
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Exhibit B: Bob Walk
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The Pirates are currently the laughing stock of the MLB and have no chance in hell to contend. If there was another sequel for Major League, it would not be set in Cleveland, it would be set in Pittsburgh. Here are some ideas for Major League 4.

Since Rajai Davis is one of the two black players on the team (this seems to be widespread) he would be pegged to play a character a la Willie May Hayes. The Pirates main leadoff hitter is a semi fast white boy, Chris Duffy, who doesn’t really steal bases because he has a problem reaching first.

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Masumi Kuwata would take over the role of Pedro Cerrano and instead of doing voodoo would be the wild and wacky Samurai. He would keep sushi and swords in his locker. Hilarity ensues.

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Seeing that the Pirates have no real old school vets, they would have a hard time finding a player on the team to fill the roles of catcher Jake Taylor and thirdbaseman Roger Dorn. Jack Wilson and Jason Bay are the two players who have been with the Pirates for the longest period of time and have endured years of losing. Perhaps Matt Capps would play Rick Vaughn.  If the Pirates are going to continue to lose they need to simply fill their rosters with likeable losers- guys you want to watch despite the fact they are awful. I am talking guys with buck teeth, mullets, obesity, criminal charges pending, all that.  Hell, fuck a movie, let’s make a reality series.

I Know Why Lupe Fell

July 3, 2007

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Seriously. If you would have come to me a couple months ago you would have heard my bold prediction- Lupe is going to brick… literally. When I saw him at IUP with my girl we were both disappointed that he kept his body sideways for almost the entire show. Apparently Lupe likes to imagine the crowd as a bunch of Medusas who will turn his body to stone if he looks directly into their eyes.

Did I forget to mention he had sunglasses on? Yes, Lupe rocked glasses and was still afraid to look the crowd in the eye. Last I checked Byron Crawford did not reside in Indiana, PA so why was Lupe so scared? Did he know that he would take a fall off the stage at some point in the future and wanted to look cool *cough* while doing it?

My dream scenario would have been for Lupe to fall of the stage, hit his head and suddenly change into a different person. Sorta like when Damon Wayans’ gay character from the In Living Color “Men On Films” skit took a lump to the head and suddenly went from being a limp wristed Amaechi to a macho tough guy. Can you imagine if Lupe fell off the stage, picked himself up and started rapping like 50 or DMX? Perhaps then he would actually look at the audience when he performs.


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